A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiI was wondering if i could get your opinion on something i have been giving a lot of thought.I recently just started a new job and for the first time since my terrible breakup with my ex girlfriend. i really like a colleague, however i am unsure whether i should make a move, i know that in about a years time im moving to china to study, im currently saving right now for it. I dont think its appropriate I let myself or someone else get emotionally attached considering my plans.What is your opinion on this situation?[Moderator note: please make sure when posting your question, check all spelling and grammar so it will not be rejected next time]
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (5 May 2008):
 It's a hard one. I've been in the same situation.
It's hard enough knowing you'll be moving to a new city, with all the implications of a long-distance relationship. But going to China is a totally different kettle of fish. Once you're in China, your entire world will change. New people, new experiences, new focus. So much of your attention and interest will be focused on this new life that the things you left behind will seem far away and irrelevant, and will get far less of your attention. The fact is, what absorbs us is what we are moving towards, and this is no more true than when we are placed in an exciting new environment.
Personally, I would hold back from too deep an emotional attachment to someone that you're going to be leaving soon. That's because it's hard to be involved when you can't see an easy way to include them in your future.
I realise that it's difficult to put your life on a moratorium for a year because of "future plans". It's tempting (and often sensible) to live in the here and now. But if you are serious in your goal of going to China to study and making the most of that experience, you should perhaps try to focus on the longer term.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): Hi, I think that you should do what's in your heart, who knows it might be fun to be in a relationship again after somthing hectic, it may turn out to be just fun for both of you, or it maybe something great, it's not cheating if you let her know, but all in all I say do something and get rid of all speculation, you would'nt want to look back at this and be like maybe this or maybe that.
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