A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am in a 20 years marriage that has lasted 10 yrs too long. I have been seeing another woman twice a month for 2 years. I don't want to hurt my wife, but I'm not in love w/her anymore. The other woman loves me, but is married w/three kids. She is getting seperated this week from her spouse, but won't make a commitment to divorcing him to be with me. Partly because I haven't left my wife. I think if I leave my wife this other woman will realize I am serious and agree to leave her hubby for me.Should I leave my wife and risk ending up alone? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009): weel i think your concerns are well funded, your gut is telling you that you will be alone. you see the grass is not always greener on the other side. both you and the OW are cheating on your spouses. i do not think you both will be finding much happiness with each other in the long run.
As your your loyal wife that you are betraying. I hope she finds the one thing missing in her liv and what is that you may ask? A real man who will love and cherish her. A real man who will stand the test of time. A decent man who will not be selfish. Like you.
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (28 March 2009):
 I think you are being massively selfish! You don't want to end up alone? Come on!
If you don't love your wife, you are just using her as security against being alone, leave her and let her find a new decent man who actually loves her!
And if this other lady doesn't want to be with a guy with a history of cheating on his wife can you blame her?
Do the decent thing, listen to your conscience and not your balls!
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (28 March 2009):
 If you don't love your wife, I don't think you should stay. You are dealing with her unjustly. But before you do anything rash, I would look back and try to find out what made you lose love for her and see if you can fix it before you do something you end up regretting.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): You haven't said whether you and your wife have kids. That's a huge factor, and makes it difficult to give a proper answer.
However, the woman you've been seeing does have a marriage with children. She has to find her own destiny. Your doing anything to encourage an outcome that would hurt her children would be unconscionable.
If you are convinced that your marriage is at an end, then man up and leave, regardless of the other woman. It's not fair to your wife to stay simply because you have no better alternative. And it's hardly noble to leave simply because you think you've found something better.
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