A
male
age
30-35,
*ewhocorruptsinc
writes:I have been with this girl for more than a year now, we met via post secondary and I am deeply in love with her. I feel like I want her to be my wife in the future. She has aspirations for med school which she is most likely getting in come next september, and I am becoming a nurse. Here's the catch, if I apply to nursing schools outside of the province, I can complete the program in half the amount of time whereas if I stay in my hometown right now. I have fooled around in school alot and it has come to the point that I want to get out of school as fast as I can, so this seems like a good option, but that means I leave the love of my life behind for two years and it's tearing her and I apart.Is it worth finishing school with a successful career in half the time while I leave my girlfriend behind? or is ti worth it to just spend another 4 years in school? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, The Realist +, writes (3 November 2011):
 It is a tough choice to make. Since you are thinking that you two are made for each other and I can tell you don't want to lose her then it might be best to take extra time with school and stay with her. Since she is also planning on being in school for longer too this should work out just fine. My concern would be if you are in school and she wants to start a life which would cause problems with the age difference. Ask her what her plans are if she doesn't get into med school and just be clear on her future plans so that you two are on the same page. I can't really tell how important the traveling experience is for you. Me personally would be just fine staying in the city and doing school there.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): Why leave her behind when you can have education and stay with the love of your life. Think of the education as life experience and ensuring that you know your job well. Theres a saying that good things come to those who wait. It think its well applied here. I understand that school is hard im only 23 myself and i hated school but i went to college afterwards and now hav a good job. Even though collage was the last thing i wanted and i would rather hav gone anywhere else. But honestly it was worth it
If you are serious about this girl then take the longer education. Even though it would take longer to become a nurse. You can be happy with the woman that you say you intend to marry and still hopefully have the same outcome at the end of it... but if your secretly looking for a get out clause and using education as an excuse to leave her,
then u need to tell her truth coz it wont do either of you any good
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A
male
reader, hewhocorruptsinc +, writes (3 November 2011):
hewhocorruptsinc is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys so much! I have a couple more things to add
Just a clarification, I CAN complete the degree in the same town where we live in, but it would take 4 years as opposed to 2 in BC which seems like such an opportunity I can't miss. So it's not like BC is my ONLY choice to become a nurse.
Another thing: I am in my early 20s, and shes in her late 20s. She has done so much with her life and explored and seen many things, when I havent. I sometimes feel an urge like maybe I don't want to settle down with her right now because I felt like I fully havent really experienced much in life in order to settle down so quick; so this is why I am taking BC into consideration.
The problem is I will feel so empty without her, I dont even know if I could be with someone else in BC while I'm gone away from her for 2 years. I'll probably be miserable... am I wrong for also feeling this way and potentially ruining one of the best relationships with one of the most accomplished woman I have ever met?
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (3 November 2011):
Finish school. I hate to say this but you can't be sure that this relationship will last and in the end you have to cover your ass so that your life can stay on track first. If you can't do the long distance thing then tell her you love and keep in touch. Then see what happens when you come. If you are both still single and it is meant to be then you two will be together.
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A
female
reader, charliesdevil73  +, writes (3 November 2011):
 I agree with aunt honesty. It will be worth it in the long run to focus on what you need from school. Like she said, there is web cam, instant messaging, email, phone calls and texts. It will be hard at first, but it will also allow you guys to see how well your relationship lasts through hard times. If you really would consider marrying her, this could be a good thing to do.
Sit down and talk to her and tell her why you would like to go to school elsewhere. Also, look into the schools where it would be a shorter time and see which ones are closest. Maybe she can go with you when you go to check them out, it might help her to see where you will be while away from her. But, no matter what, talk everything out and determine what you will be doing to keep your relationship going through the time you guys are apart.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 November 2011):
 I feel that it is worth it, yes you will be sad to leave her but at the end of the day you are setting up your future. If you both sit down and come up with some plan where you can both make it work long distance. There is web cam, messaging, email, phone, lots of things to help keep in contact and am sure you can both meet up on the holidays and things. Stay positive and don't feel like you need to pick between the two. You can both make the relationship work if it is what you both really want.
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A
female
reader, Starlight11  +, writes (2 November 2011):
Would be interesting to know your girlfriend's opinion. Is she encouraging you to do it?
But, in the end, it is yours to make a decision.
I think that as long as there is the chance for you to still see your girlfriend (weekends, holidays etc.)while you go to nursing school, it's not that big a deal. Then you don't "leave her behind", not really.
If the both of you are aware of what a long distance relationship means, it can work out. It's only 2 years after all, not eternity.
If you're going to be thousands of miles apart and there's not the slightest chance for you to see each other for 2 years -- well that changes things. Then you have to figure out what you deem more important. I'd always go for love but I'm a hopeless romantic. :-)
Ask yourself the question, what is it you could accept - risking to have a future with the girl you love or knowing that you have to go to school for 4 more years?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2011): I know people who have sacrificed their relationships for better education opportunites -the relationship didn't last because of the long distance, but they still felt they had made the better choice. I would say it would be better to finish your qualifications as quick as possible in order to reduce the amount of debt from any student loans you might have to take out, but you are pretty young so four years wouldn't be too bad, and I'm sure with a profession like nursing you would land a job fairly quickly once you were done.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2011): Whats wrong with a long term relationship? Its hard, but it can work. It will also mean, that since you can finish quicker, you two will be able to get married and settle down quicker. Meet her whenever you can.
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