A
male
age
51-59,
*ndrewbigrig70
writes:I've been Married to my wife now for seven years , we have had a little girl who is 3 years old now and the joy of my life . The thing is that my wife and i hardly talk to each other anymore . I am to blame for our current financial problems due to the fact i bought a new Truck and with the repayments and the cost of fuel these days - we have been struggling for a while . My wife works 3 days a week , while my mother in law looks after our little girl , and the stress between us has gradually got bigger in the last few years . For financial reasons , i think my wife hates me for the hardship we have had the last few years , i'm trying very hard to also find extra work to help our situation , but i think the love has gone . We argue very frequently and hardly talk to each other anymore , and to be honest , i dont think i'm in love with her anymore . I care for her , but thats it . I dont know what to do , i try doing nice things for her , but the next day things go back to the same again . Should i leave ? . I cant handle this coldness between us anymore , after all , i am human and need loving too . Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Terri'Ann  +, writes (26 July 2008):
If your unhappy in your relationship and not in love as you were before then you should leave. all that should count in your life is your happiness firstly, then your daughters happiness and last your wife's happiness. if your unhappy then your wife is unhappy and if your wife is not happy then your daughter can't be happy either. there is no point of wollowing in an unhappy home life is far too stort. you and your wife should go your seperate ways all the arguing is not good for you or a growing child especially a girl because girls are more sensitive. if you move out and give your wife some space for a while, see how your relationship and communication goes, if she's still bitter then give her some more time to get use to the idea of being aaprt. take care and best of wishes. don't forget be happy be happy be happy
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): HiI think it is sad when this happens, coldness does grow if one or both partners are harbouring resentment. ( what ever reason)constant blame is wrong. Happiness is important and if you both get together and talk and instead of blame and guilt trips try and resolve and work through your hardship's however one party is not prepared to do this then you have an ongoing problem that will eventually destroy feelings of love. How can one love somebody when they are breeding resentment and deliberately making you both unhappy? Maybe love is still underneath all the hardship, life's problems try to hide love sometimes and we have to have the eyes that can see past illusions. But if you actually are feeling that the love has gone then because you have children only you can decide what will be right to do as any decision will effect your little girl, just as bad feeling between the parents can affect a child. I think your other has a problem with resentment but maybe the real reasons are not what you think, you need t really ask her and tell her to start trying to be happy and loving or you will find it else where with a warm loving woman who CHOOSES to be happy.
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A
female
reader, Angela.B +, writes (26 July 2008):
 If I said "Yes, leave her" would that help you? Would it somehow make it easier to do, and give you a feeling that your actions were validated?I'm sorry, but it is impossible for anyone to say if you should leave her, except in circumstances where someone is being abused or similar. It has to be your decision, and you have to be willing to live with the consequences to yourself, your wife and your daughter.I don't mean that to sound harsh - we've all had times when things haven't been working out with a partner and wondered if leaving would be the best thing to do. Sometimes, we decide it is.But it is interesting that your question isn't "How can I make things better between us" which might suggest that you have already made up your mind.Financial pressures can take their toll on any relationship, but they can be overcome - sometimes with specialist help. Communicating with each other (you *think* she hates you for the hardship - have you actually asked her?) is always the first step to finding out how you both really feel and what the solution might be.Of course you are human and need loving too. But ask yourself if what you really want is loving from some other person or loving from your wife? If deep down, it's still your wife you want, then maybe you are asking the wrong question.
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