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Should I leave him? He makes me more sad than happy

Tagged as: Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 February 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2011)
A female United States age 18-21, *hite-Watch writes:

I have a boyrfriend, we have been togather for almost 2 years. i dont know what to do anymore, weve been fighting for about 3 months straight about a lot of stuff. first he ignored me, and i bitched about it alot. we broke up twice in the same 2 weeks. that was all about a month ago. new problem: while we were fighitng i started to kinda like one of my good friends. well he found out and forbade me from seeing him. i hate just about all of his friends cause theyre always really mean to me and make fun of me alot. mean fun, the kind that makes me not wanna talk and feel awkward being around them. all my new friends that like me for me and make me feel accepted, all live in the house with the good friend i sorta like. so i get in trouble for seeing them, too. today i asked my boyfriend how he knew he loved me, and when he asked me why i asked that i told him that it feels like he doesnt accept me for me, and like i cant be myself. as in, i cuss alot, i dont know why but i do, its like a reflex. and he gets very upset with me when i do, saying "ya know its not very lady like to do that" or "i dont think its very attractive when women cuss." and when i told him i wanted to dye my hair red, he said "why? you'll look like a dyke." and when i said i wanted snake bites he said 'thatd look weird. in a bad way." and when i said i wanted my tongue done, he said itd be 'trashy." which hurts my feelings and keeps me from doing the things i want to do, because no one wants to feel like theyre significant other will think them ugly for it, which is how i feel. when i told him that, he got very upset and fought with me about it. i told him i wanted to do things like a normal teenager, like party every once in a blue moon or have a drink every now and then when the occasion calls for it, without being bitched out about it. he got even madder and started yelling. but it just seems unfair because hes already done all that stuff. hes been drunk at parties before, he's done weed (not one of the things i want to do, but still something hes done) and hes lived a crazy life. i havent. and i want to experience those things and he says if i do, he wont be with me anymore.which is unfair because of course, to someone who used to do it all the time, it wouldnt be a big deal. but for someone like me, who has countless oportunities to cut loose and do something fun and crazy, and never takes those chances, it is because its an experience i want to have for myself. but he is totally against it. everyone says that i should leave him because he makes me sad more than he makes me happy. which is kinda true. but it used to be so good and i guess im just waiting for it to be that way again. i also took him out on a date yesterday, and paid for everything, and for half of it all he wanted to do was bitch that it was a lazy day for him and he just wanted to go home and order pizza and watch netflix, which is boring and what we always do. so my question is: what should i do? should i stay or should i leave? i know im young, so dont bring up that subject because all i want is help.

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A female reader, redstream99 United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2011):

redstream99 agony auntany guy that makes you unhappy is no good for you, i was in a relationship with a guy for about a year and the argueing never stopped and in the end i left him and now i am actually happy for once. you have to think about yourself and not this guy, your more important than him because your actually thinking about the both of you. in reading what you have written i think it is very clear that you don't actually want to be with him anymore, read it over yourself. get out of this while you can because people never really change.

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