A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello Everybody!I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 15months, 3 months into our relationship she started talking to her ex again and regularly meeting up with him on dinner dates. i nipped that in the bud and out of courtesy for me she cut it down to once a month.from day 1 her ex poked fun at me, first it was just harmless boistrousness, its slowly turned into something of a nightmare and has recently started to turn into open threats. shes obviously shared a lot of information with him about me because of the things he says and some of the personal details he knows about.he does not know exactly where i live but he knows the general area, because he has a second job there. she told him i live somewhere between 2 pubs in my area, he then came down and explored the area purposely looking for me, my car and where i live, he revelled in that and telling my gf that he was in my town looking for me. shes had lots of arguments with him about taking the mick out of me and my friends and openly threatening me, she just tells me to ignore it, which i do, but when its on a constant basis it starts to get at you. after her arguments with him, she ignores him for a few weeks then contacts him, then he starts with the taking the mick out of me again, hes recently left notes on my car and silly spray all over it (which i found annoying to clean off) when i parked it outside my girlfriends. i have taken everything on the chin and expressed my annoyance with my gf, who just says ignore it, hes an idiot and anything i do to try and stop it will only make it worse.he also started getting his friends to threaten me as well, she's had another argument with him and has told me that she said this is the final time she talks to him. im a bit skeptical about that because she's said that many times before. this time though im afraid its going too far. shes sanctioned him so much that the only thing left to do is to stop any involvement with him and she probably wont.so my dialemma now is: if she picks up contact with him and he cant be civil this time around, should i leave telling her that i cannot handle the baggage she carries around I.e dildo baggins and his friends?regardsangry scared helpless guy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): She's a complete idiot and to be honest you're even more of an idiot for putting up with it even for one moment.
She doesn't give a crap about you to let him do this, I mean come on man, what the hell does she think she is doing, a guy openly threatens you and harasses you and she says ignore it. She says ignore it so she can keep seeing him. I'm afraid you're just plan B to her dude, she's still maintaining and fighting to protect an abusive relationship with her ex. Get out and get out now, none of this is acceptable behaviour at all and she has done nothing to protect you from it.
"Ignore it"? are you f**king kidding me? You're being bullied by this scumbag and she couldn't care less. You're right to be skeptical, because it's BS she will go back to him again and next time she does you move on. You should not have let it get this far, but now that it has you have to get out now, before this psycho does something more serious, no woman especially one that won't protect you is worth getting hurt over.
She's the one you should be angry with not him, it's obviously in this guys nature to do this kind of crap and you're grilfriend is enabling this, who knows what she talks about with this guy wqhen you're not around. Perhaps she playing the two of you against each other. She could be telling him that you're treating her badly and all kinds of things like that.
Either way get out now!
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (26 May 2010):
 My advice - tell her its either you or the ex!!
If she chooses you - then there will be NO contact with the ex and if you find her even sms'ing him the relationship will be over.
She is playing both sides of the fence and probably loves telling the ex all sorts of things about you so that the ex gets all riled up and.... well in a nutshell - she is making trouble for you.
If she was so into you she would have cut ALL contact with the ex..... so I think that there is more than what meets the eye.
Honeygirl
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (26 May 2010):
 Ok, you're NOT helpless in this. There comes a time when one must take the proverbial bull by the horns and I think you're there, my friend!
I think the odds are stellar that Girlfriend here is keeping the bovine pile stirred up just for the stench of it all. Poking the snake for a reaction. Running between two guys to relish the appearance of them fighting over her. how EVIL!
I suggest you just belly up to the bar, and tell Girlfriend that you never agreed to three in your relationship and she chooses you or Mr. Silly String. Period.
In the interest of common decency, you are within logical right to issue such an ultimatum; her behavior demonstrates that she is not able to manage this in a mature, responsible, adult manner. There is NO good reason for you to be harassed by this girl's ex. Absolutely none. If she has a problem with that line of reasoning then tell her she needs to go resume matters with her, alleged ex. Were I you, I'd be seriously wondering just how ex this ex is.
If she's made the ex her ex then require that he remains the ex. She's with you or she's not, no in-between. Good luck and keep us posted!
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