A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in need of words of wisdom and encouragement from an aunt or uncle. I'm sorry, but I'm kind of a longwinded typer.. My long distance boyfriend (he's in school, only 4 hours away, not a problem and its only for a year) and I broke up b/c basically he was very stressed with school, became miserable and started to question his life, and broke up with me b/c he could see "how we can get far". Apparently he had a long distance thing with some girl in another country when he was a teenager and she really hurt him and now according to him NO long distance relationship will work, even though we were very happy for over almost a year and he had no problem with it until school problems started, but the relationship is making him miserable now. He had very strong feelings for me, he has liked me for over 8 years, and then all of a sudden, it cant work. So we spent two months breaking up and getting back together until he finally just stopped responding to me. He is very stubborn, and I feel like he's just being stubborn to make his point, whatever it is. Needless to say I was completely devastated but I ironically enough, I met a guy a week later who is SO compatible with me, prob more so than my boyfriend. We're taking it slow and its only been seeing each other for only two weeks so who knows what would happen or not.. The thing is I feel guilty for finding someone so soon after and actually liking him and I cant help but wonder if my old boyfriend is going to come back. We havent even been broken up for three weeks and he's kind of immature, so I'm sure he just needs time to come to his sense. But on the other hand, if he doesn't come to his senses, I dont want to lose this other guy that I could grow to like a lot. So I tried to contact my boyfriend after two weeks of silence, to find out if he's happier now, and his response was "no". So I told him that I still think that we are greater than his problems but its his choice, to which he didnt reply. So I dont know what to do now.. should I just leave him alone and not bother him anymore, deal with the guilt and go on with the new guy? Should I talk to him again? Is there a chance we can get back together or he'll miss me after a while? Id rather be with him, but its his choice, and even though he hurt me alot, I still just want to be as fair as possible.
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broke up, get back together, immature, long distance Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): Sweet Pea, move on to this new guy. You mentioned that your boyfriend is immature, and he may or may not grow up emotionally. You shouldn't base you life decisions on any other person that yourself. You shouldn't feel guilty about having feeling for someone who truly has feelings for you. Perhaps in years to come, your boyfriend will look back and regret his decision to break things off with you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): In the same boat. I would tell your ex that you love him and will always be there for him. Tell him that there is no one else you would rather be with in this world but you can't wait around forever.if he decides to come back to you-then you will have to decide at that point that is what u want but until that time, you will start dating other people.
Good luck!
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