A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend asked me the other day if i'd ever had a one night stand the other day and i admitted that i had thinking that teeling the truth is always the best (and not thinking very much at all as well - it just came out). She siad she didnt really mind but i could tell she was disgusted and she brings it up here and there since. Was a wrong to have admitted it? She's made me feel really guilty for it even though it was a few years ago long before i met her(not that i was proud at the time but i was free and single...and drunk). What can i do to improve the situation? should i have kept quiet?
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male
reader, seekinghelp  +, writes (2 January 2009):
Hey friend, let me just start by saying that questions like this are very situational, and should always be answered with the utmost caution. Any questions related to sexual history that is not with the partner asking is always tricky grounds.
For one second, lets just spin this around and say that your gf had 5 one night stands. How would you feel knowing that? What kind of concerns would that put in your mind? Make note of that, and in a condescending way portray the answers to those questions to your gf to help alleviate any problems she has with this.
In my opinion, and with my experience with this, the best thing to do is lie. That one night stand had nothing to do with you relationship right? Her knowing or not knowing about will not directly change anything you two have together right? Meaning, you didnt get an std from it, or a kid... So, in this case your gf really only needs to know about the sexuality between you two, and not between you and anyone else.
While it may be hard to determine what people are ok and not ok with, the best thing to do is play it on the safe side and only give them the details in which you think they can handle, and even then you might want to water that down a bit.
If however, you want someone who accepts your sexual history, then you shouldnt lie about it, or hold anything back because you would only be cheating yourself. But, if its the case that your past is your past, then dont bring it to future relationships.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): she shouldnt have asked the question if she didnt want an answer
she shouldnt be judging at all, what you did before you were with her is none of her business. You were a good boyfriend by being truthful! and maybe she really doesnt mind maybe your just a bit paranoid about the topic...
either way its not a big deal so dont worry about it!
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