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Should I go to brother's overseas wedding?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 November 2006) 6 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2007)
A male , anonymous writes:

My bro met this girl who lives in Austraila on the internet.

Has been chatting online with her for 5 years

He flew to AUS and spent 3 MO. with her

Now they are engaged.

Now my family expects me to fly over in July to see him get married. I find this to be an outragious and expensive request.

I think it is a better idea if they have 2 Ceremonies.

The big one over in AUS and then a very small one here.

I think it is cheaper for her to fly over here than expect my entire famly to fly to AUS. I am going to suggest this to him. What are your thoughts?

View related questions: cheap, engaged, the internet, wedding

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007):

When it comes down to it, weddings are generally the girls domain, and wherever she lives is generally where the wedding is. I guess it depends how close you are to your brother and whether or not you agree with them getting married. If he is in love, surely you should be happy for him and be there to support him? Australia isn't so bad you know! It could be the excuse to travel you've been waiting for!

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A female reader, Jessamy +, writes (22 November 2006):

The cost would be a bit over the top, wouldn't it? I don't think it should be an issue if you ask your brother about a second ceremony in your own country, just as long as you are prepared to accept his descision and not make a fuss if his answer is no. If he still wants just the one Australian ceremony, might I suggest taking a bit more time off work, if possible, to make it a proper holiday? The plane tickets would be very expensive for just a short wedding trip, but might be worth it if you spend a few weeks here in Aus exploring what the country has to offer. I would recommend sailing and Scuba diving in the Whitsundays, where the water is basically bath temperature throughout the year, or checking out some of the absolutely incredible rock formations in the desert, such as the Bunga Bungas, checking out some of the wildlife; the country has a lot to offer. If you do come across, make sure to take time out and appreciate it!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006):

Wow!

They are not living in reality are they?

That is gonna cost you at least $3,000-5,000 US depending on where you live.

The second ceremony with maybe cake and ice cream and cocktails reception is

a great idea!

You could fly her to your country and have a $500-$1000

reception!

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A female reader, Starkiss +, writes (21 November 2006):

Starkiss agony auntI think you should be supportive of your brother no matter how much it cost. he want's you to be in a big part of his life.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006):

suggest the smaller second ceremony and cite cost. Then state that from a fair and even point of view the wedding could happen in either country so the travelling of your family out there is a luxury and not a standard given unless you brother will help with the cost of the flights. If not then remember it is a request not an order.If she has no family out there then it should be in the best intersts financially for her to travel but if she has family she probably doesn't want to have to make them fly a long distance. Dont get in debt to appease someone and dont get wound up

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006):

Well, it's his wedding and it's not up to you. If you can't afford to go, or think it is too expensive then tell them honestly why you can't be there. But I wouldn't try and spoil there big day. Austrialia is a beautiful place and a lovely setting to get married. Why should they have two ceremonies to satisfy you? I think you should put up or shut up and wish them both well.

Be glad they have even invited you!

Take care

xx

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