A
male
 ,
*D
writes:Greetings,During 2006-2007 I(Male,39) was in an amateur theater group where I met a girl(Elli 26 then, 29 now).Elli and I would sometimes flirt and she would ask me questions about whether I was in a relationship.I think she was sort of attracted to me and I was to her.At the end of the theatrical year(June 2007), the whole troupe went to a local bar and had a night out.While there, Elli told me about how she was in a relationship with a guy she knew since they were 18 and how she left him because she wanted to "experience other men" but went back to him when he realized that he was good for me. Interestingly, she was almost pressed against me and very touchy-feely when saying these things.Anyway, we exchanged numbers and said we'd go for coffee but we sort of never got to it.I didn't do much because I was involved at the time.Come October 2007, Elli return to our troupe,but leaves shortly after. I invite her to a party at my place in Feb 2008, and she comes wih a female friend.She looked nice and we talked. I told her we should go to dinner sometime. I had broken up and I believed that her coming to my party on a Saturday night with her female friend may mean she was no longer attached.Anyway, we arrange dinner for a Saturday night, but she SMS's me Saturday afternoon saying that she is ill and that her "boyfriend" is taking care of her.I felt this was unacceptable and that she should never have accepted a dinner date on a Saturday if she was still attached. Anyway, I sort of call her out on this behavior, but politely and forget about her. Come September 2008, I see her again at a book exhibition(she works for a publisher) and we talked a bit but I was a bit cool(yet still Ok).Another year passes, and I saw her yesterday at the same, annual book exhibition.She was friendly and smiling and I was a bit mellower than last year.We talked a bit and she asks if I have gotten engaged or married.My reply was that I like the free life and that SHE was the one in a long-term relationship, so she should have wedding news or plans.She answers that she had broken up with the boyfriend(doesn't say when though, probably about 9 months ago I think).Anyway, I tell her I'll call and we can arrange to go for a drink and she says Ok.My Query for you all:Should I call Elli and try this one more time?Last date she cancelled and it came out that she was still attached.Should she have accepted the date in the first place?Yesterday, she made it clear she has broken up and initiated such talk by asking if I was married.DOes this show interest in me?Is it enough to just give her a call and ask her out?Or is Elli a lost cause?Thanks and sorry for the long post!
View related questions:
engaged, exchanged numbers, flirt, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): Call her but don't ask her out on a formal date. Keep it casual and play it cool - maybe suggest going for a coffee to catch up, rather than dinner. If there is no pressure she is more likely to turn up and be open about her relationship status.I don't think she is a lost cause - good luck.
|
