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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been going out with this girl for about 6yrs. About three years ago, I had to move to another country having got a good job. We have remained in touch almost every single day. We have met a couple of times but had intended to possibly settle down later this year. She has however been worried that I wasn't giving her the commitment she needed. Having now realized that I was serious with her, she has told me that she has been having an affair with someone for the past one year. On the one hand she says she had to tell me this but also admits that the man he was having an affair with threatened to tell me about their affair. This past year, it is her who was suspecting me of having an affair and would call me, crying, cursing... I have thus been hurting inside feeling just how mean I had become for not tellig her the words she had wanted to hear. Yet, I have realised that even as she was complaining, she was having affair. I am broken hearted but perhaps worse, terribly confused. She says we should not waste the many years we spent together. I also feel we invested far too much in our relationship but wonder whether I will ever trust her having lied to me for one year almost every second day. She says she will spend the rest of her life trying to make it up to me. But I feel to feel like you owe one something in a marriage is not right. Is there a chance with time I can learn to forgive? Can we possibly get back together and start a family. I know ultimately I will have to make the decision but could it be the case that its in her to lie and that this will happen again. Indeed, I am even afraid that there is much more she is not telling me perhaps for fear of making the situation worse. Should I take the chance with her or should we call it a day and start new lives the pain notwithstanding?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): did this person only confess beacuse her lover wanted to rat her out? would she have told you on her own.
you have to weigh up everythin snd then make a decision.
this person has hurt you so much, has she told you everything? or is she still lying and covering up, she has tormented you with accusing you of infedility how do you trust her agin? trust has been broken and whether it can be mended and rebuilt only you two individuals can decide that.
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