A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Should i write to my ex fling even after I told him I dont want to hear from him again?I used to date a guy for a couple months 5 months ago, we were perfect together and i was very happy but we were never official so i cut off all contact with him because he was scared of committing and didnt want a relationship and I did, so I havnt seen or spoken to him since. I told him that when he figures out what he wants and wants a relationship to call me otherwise not to contact me ever again. But ever since than ive miss him like hell, i think about him all the time, and even dating other guys doesnt take my mind off of him, its like noone else compares. I can truly say that I fell head over heels over him.. Ive been wanting to send him a message just to see how he's doing and that if we can just be friends. I honestly rather have him in my life somehow than not have him in my life at all. The thought of not ever talking to him again kills me. What do you think I should do? can anyone give me some advice? Any advice from a guys point of view?thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): I know I'm not a guy, like you asked, but I have been in a similar situation.
I once felt about somebody that I would rather have them in my life and not be with them, than not have them in my life at all. But the reality isn't so easy. Could you really deal with that?
I know you are missing this guy, but before you make a decision, think about why you broke up with him in the first place. Those reasons won't have just disappeared. If you got back together with him, those issues will still be there, and will require working on, otherwise they will probably drive you apart again.
Also, think about if it's what you really want. If you are unsure about contacting him, then I would advise you not to. If you contact him, it will be the beginning, and the relationship will, one way or another, pick up again. If you are not sure you want that yet, then don't contact him. Otherwise, you will confuse him.
He hasn't contacted you, which suggests he still hasn't figured out what he wants. Or maybe he has, and he doesn't want the relationship with you. Otherwise, wouldn't he have contacted you?
If you really do think you could now accept things the way they were, then there is nothing to stop you contacting him. But just make sure it is what you really want before jumping into it, or it could get confusing for both of you. Good luck. x
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