A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I need help. I met a guy and we went on a date after talking for a while. Date was good. We kiss but he wants to have sex in the back of the car and I told him I wanted to get to know him. But he licked my niple. And we spoke after that and everything was going ok. I told him I love him and he said it back which I meant I like him. Because you can't love a person in a month. He became distant and not calling and texting like he use too. And he tells me he missed me and likes me alot. I text him in the morning and he responds right away but he never text me himself.i ask him why he doesnt call or text and he said he is busy dont like calling. The other day he called me and said he wants to talk to me about getting together and all the sudden he said he got a phone call said he will call me back. I waited and he called and he said we will talk about it later because he said he was going to his sister house. He told me he changed and been distant because I told him I love him and he said I dont want somebody telling me they love me when they barely know me. And I told him I didnt meant it I meant to say I like you. He said he is afraid getting hurt because he said his ex cheated on him. And I told him I wouldn't cheat or hurt him and he said we can work on it. Please I need help what is going on with this guy. I really like him. Is he telling me the truth? Should I keep trying eventhough he is not initiating contact. Please help me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2019): Rule number one for women do not put out on dates ever until he asks for an exclusive relationship with you and rule two never ever chase men over the phone they will treat you like crsp let all men chase you, don't wait around for one guy date many at a time
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2019): He licked your nipple. You told some guy you met about a month ago that you "love" him?!! Girlfriend, what's wrong with you?
Let me break it down for you!
First...come down out of the clouds, and pay close-attention!!!
You can't be off in lala-land; when I'm trying to tell you what your dad should have told you years ago!
He wants to get in your pants in the worse way! Love has nothing to do with anything at this point! His slickest-move fell flat! Now his ego is bruised...it's almost a vendetta to get you in bed! He pegged you to be a little slow. He thought you'd be easier; but you threw him a left-curve! You rejected him for sex right after one of his goofy moves!!! Licking somebody's nipple?!!! That's as lame as a three-legged giraffe on crutches!
Come-on! What kind of move is that? Let me guess...your eyes were supposed to rollback, while your feet flew-up in the air? It's almost comical!
So now he resorts to head-games. One of the dumbest and most over-used in the player's handbook. Ignore her messages, and give her the silent-treatment. Don't answer until the eight or ninth call-message or text. Then act indifferent or nonchalant. Like he's so busy! Yeah, busy swiping through profiles and porn!
Don't blow-up his phone...ever! NEVER!!!
Here's your first mistake. You've already let him know you don't have your act together! You used the L-word, which makes him think you're a little off. "Love" is not a word you play around with. It backfired! You let it fly thinking he'd be your echo. You said it because you wanted to hear it! I'm not dumb either, sweetheart!
He never believed you loved him; but now he's going to rub your nose in it. Make you feel foolish for a slip of the tongue; and now you have to prove something. He doesn't want to get hurt. Oh, please! That's also from the player's handbook. Show her some phony vulnerability. Keep her chasing you for forgiveness.
You don't owe that mudsucker anything! Where's your pride, woman? He's just a teardrop in an ocean of men! "Like" doesn't justify being a dummy, hon!
Sweetheart, stop letting your emotions override your common-sense. Once this guy gets you in bed; he'll play Mr. Romantic for maybe a few weeks. Perhaps even take you on a romantic-date. Get you buzzed, you'll have sex; then he'll give you the silent-treatment again. You'll be required to use sex as a way to get his attention from then on. That's where all this is leading.
Do yourself a favor! Block, delete, and ghost this jerk!
Headgames are a sign of a psycho or a narcissist! They'll test your gullibility, pressure you to give them sex, and keep you apologizing for doing what's smart and best for you. They'll end-up dumping you anyway.
Don't be so desperate! Playing dumb and letting guys manipulate you doesn't get respect. They'll take you for a tease and resort to underhanded tactics. You'll start to notice that one guy will pull it after another. That's because the deal is to see how quickly he can get you into bed. Look for any signs that you're somewhat dingy and slow. Desperation is a sure sign! Then he knows he can cheat, lie, play head-games; and you'll still cling like lint.
This one thinks he's got you all figured-out. You've got to cut him loose, and swipe left!!! He just wants you to spread your legs to prove he's a stud, and he has the upperhand. You'll be nothing but yet another conquest. You said wait, but that's not good enough!
Please don't pretend to be weak-minded to make guys like you. You know what he's up to. You know you did the right thing to wait; but now you're second-guessing yourself, because you like him. Don't call him if he leaves you hanging after long pauses between calls or messages. That's just messing with you! Making a fool of you!
When you notice guys doing this, learn to dump them.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 October 2019):
 Nope.
You shouldn't keep trying if he isn't trying himself.
He wanted sex on the first date. He echoed you back with the "I love you" which IS a tad ridiculous after some talking and a date... Like you said, you can't LOVE someone that soon. You can LIKE them, you can be attracted to them, you can want to get to know them better... but love takes a bit more involvement.
I can see why he pulled back a bit when you said "ILY".
If I were you I'd STOP making contact first and SEE if he picks up the slack. IF he does, then perhaps GO on dates, GET to know him.
Don't make promises you can't keep. And don't accept that you have to walk on eggshells because his EX did "whatever" - YOU are NOT her and shouldn't be judged or be responsible for her actions.
Honestly though? If things are this complicated this soon, I don't see it working out.
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