A
female
age
30-35,
*rs07k
writes:So I'm 20 and I met this really really awesomely nice guy. He's not your typical nice guy: he's a singer in a band, has tattoos and piercings, skateboards and doesn't go to college. But he has a job and works. He's 18. I'm a junior in college trying to get into medical school. I know, we sound like complete opposites, but i play guitar and i met him through skateboarding on my school's campus. Anyway, he's really sweet, and he isn't how you'd imagine the rebellious type to be at all. And trust me, I know a douche bag when I see one. I'm in college. they are everywhere. and he isn't one at all. He wants to have a real relationship with me. my question is: should i date a guy that doesn't go to college? i feel really badly thinking that he isn't doing anything productive with his life. he either wants to be in the music industry or work on motorcycles. I guess it worries me that i'm sooo goal oriented and he isn't. and i don't like thinking that i should just date him for a few months and then dump him for "someone better" as all my friends put it. anyway, that's my question and any advice would be awesome.
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female
reader, ars07k +, writes (27 October 2009):
ars07k is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone for your advice. i really appreciate it!!!!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): It doesn't take hard work to get into college and even to stay there. It just takes a family with some money and a willingness to support.
What I am saying is this: Look around at the guys in your college. I'll bet tons of them are less productive and hardworking than your BF is. Would you be having these thoughts about one of them right now?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): look at him today and tell yourself if that's the way you want to live in 20+ years. The glamore WILL were off, and when it does it's not going to be pretty.
I HS I had a freind that became a tech with several world class Rock bands (major headliners), his wife got sick and tired of him being gone on world tours, calls from girlfreinds (who didn't know he was married), drug use... and basically that he was NEVER going to be able to advance from where he was at 25... the divorce was UGLY...
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009): Life is so much better with money and a education.. If you hae kids and want to stay home can he support you, Does he have ambition and plans or the future. Is he trying to buy a house have life insurance a savings account uet. I dought it.. You should date people on your on level or they may bring you and your family down and resent the fact that you are smart and going somewhere in life.. does he pay for all the dates does he act like hes trying ot take care of you... It does not sound good, but you can date many poor men have fun for awhile until you ge serious when your done with school, meet a doc, or a classmate with the same goals and asperations... Sounds harsh well life is so much better with some cash, you want to travel right and send your own kids to college to so make this a casual fling unless he proves otherwise, very very few bands ever make it bigtime and thats the truth..
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 October 2009):
Two people generally need to have common goals, or interests, to be able to move through life with each other. It is true that opposites can attract (as has happened here), but not always do they stay together. Your friends' approach is cruel and I wouldn't recommend it. You are in college, he isn't. You have a distinct goal in life, his life seems to be unmapped. There's nothing wrong with this, but it just sounds to me like you're going to have trouble making something of it if you are always wondering why he won't do better. Let him enjoy his life. You take your time at college, become who you want to be and when you're ready, you will find someone who does have similar goals and aims to you. Good luck.
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