A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello. My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 2months ago due to arguements and he said that special something isnt there anymore. he said he would always love me. he begged to be my friend and i told him i have reservations i.e still have feelings for him as we went out for well over 4 years.I gave his stuff back and exchanged letters with him over a week ago. this was the closure i need to fully move on from him and the first time i have actually spoken to him in 2months. i feel great now i have the closure! and i have finally seen the light at the end of the very long dark tunnel. i have come to the realisation that i want to try and be friends with him. i dont want FWB, but he was my best friend. i havent spoken to him for over a week. do u think i should contact him or give it some more time? he has an event today do u think i should wish him goodluck? im not looking to get back with him and i think he has moved on from me as he hasnt contacted me. he said he wants to give me time and that we dont have to be friends right away...I'm just a little confused as to whether this is a good idea... what do you think??thank you xxxxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 No it is not a good idea yet! Give him time for "Closure" too!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 March 2009):
I think you have to give it a little more time.
You know you don't want him back and that is great. It means you are getting over him.
But if you see him you may still want the intimacy just because you have always had it - what I mean by that is that it will be hard just sitting opposite him and not cuddling into him if you are having a nice time.
Also, do you still find him attractive? You could end up having a moment and kissing him that would put you back to square one of trying to get over him.
If he started telling you that he pulled this girl last night and she had legs up to her face and he had lots of sex with her - would that bother you? That is what mates talk about.
Give it time so that you are starting to see other guys as attractive and not him and that you really DON'T want him to cuddle you or ANYTHING. Then you are ready to be friends.
You are still emotionally very vulnerable when it comes to him, and although you are doing well, it's not quite worth risking what you have achieved so far by seeing him.
Good Luck!! xx
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