A
male
age
36-40,
*izillest
writes:I have asked questions on here have not really gone into detail I will try and explain my situation as best as possible.I met my ex girlfriend back in 2005 we dated for 9 months she was head over heals in love with me. I was 22 at the time still in college involved in a Fraternity and not the most mature person. I ended up breaking up with her because I guess I did not want a relationship I wanted to be free and enjoy myself. After we broke up we never really stopped talking we hung out and talked all the time like we were still together. She stuck around for over 2 years waiting and hoping for me to come around. Eventually after a while I realized it was time to grow up I started to mature and I did want to get back with her. The tables now had turned on me and she was tired of waiting. I have been trying ever since to get back with her have showed her in every which way that I have changed and matured and want a serious relationship and am not the person I once was. We both at one point went and were seeing other people nothing serious. I talk with her sister a lot about the situation and she told me that she couldn't get serious with anyone else cause she still loved n cared about me. She has told me recently that she knows she needs to give this a second chance eventually in order to see if were meant to be. She has been coming to every wedding I invite her to. I am certain this is the girl I want to be with and eventually marry we joke around about wedding rings and what not. We talk when we talk and hangout when we hangout. Its been a long up and down journey and yes I know some will say I'm an idiot for waiting around and should have walked away a long time ago and given up. I am the type of person unfortunately that would rather ride something out till the end and be told I told you so than walk away now and have regrets. The girl has been a part of my life for 6 years I've been through everything with her good bad n recently her dad passing back in may which has not helped this situation. Her sisters advice to me recently is don't text her don't call her let her be the one to text call you first but that's not me. I like seeing her n talking but sometimes space does very good and helps a situation. I'm sure most of you think I'm nuts and a part of me is that I am keeping hope through all of this and a part of me feels if we were meant to be with other people we would have been with them by now. Through all of this I have gone out and tried meeting other people tried dating sites got introduced to new people through friends. I have put my full heart towards a few other girls that I had felt something for and nothing ever worked out and I may be crazy for thinking cause I'm suppose to end up with my ex. I couldn't picture at this point in my life being with someone else or starting over with someone else.I am 28 going on 29 I am not saying I want to get married anytime soon but I do want to settle down. I hope I could get some good advice from some people who have been through similar situations. Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Should I take her sisters advise and only text/call her if she reaches out to me first? Any advice would help Thank You
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2011): I was in a similar situation. I was in a fraternity while I was dating this girl. She made me her world, but at the time, my mind was too occupied with my own college lifestyle. My heart was never as into the relationship as she was. It was evident. After about 10 months, I broke it off. We didn't talk for a whole year. During that year, i met a lot of girls, but nothing was worthy enough to be serious. Nothing else compared to what I had, but i did not miss my ex.After a year, my ex contacted me. We started meeting up and we fell back into our old relationship. Our bond was still as strong as it was. The plot twist here, is that she has a boyfriend. So for a few months, she was stuck figuring out what she wanted. During this period, I fell for her hard and my heart went crazy. I saw a near future when we would be together again. I waited, waited, and waited...time passed and nothing happened. I realize how painful waiting can be.Eventually, I realized she wasn't going to leave her boyfriend so I had to stop seeing her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, indeed. Humans naturally take for granted what they have. The grass is always seemingly greener on the other side, but most of the time, its an illusion. Nonetheless, it takes losing something to realize what you had previously won. Waiting is one of the most painful things you can put yourself through. Instead, just don't wait.Don't bother texting her anymore if she is not responding. It will push her away more. Give her space . If its meant to be, she will come back to you. Invest your heart in other places. ie, other women, hobbies, interests, yourself. Realize that you don't need her as much as your heart is telling you. Live your own life again. If she wants to join you, then let her, but don't force her...
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