| A
age
26-29,
*
writes: Today was not a good day. First of all, I horribly failed a test in my best subject. Now, my friend is telling me that a girl that I am mutual friends with calls me a loser. I have never called her a mean name in my life. She is a social drifter that can't fit with a group of friends for long. Me and my "group" had her sitting with us on and off for about 2 years. She just barely moved to the table in front of us. In some of my classes she sits with me and tries to be way more friendly than she needs to be. I sent her an email about it and even thought about deleting her contact. What do I do? Help! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, gdas2hearts  +, writes (17 September 2010):
In all honesty, i love the whole cool comeback thing tennisstar came up with xD funny stuff dude! Im using that tomorrow to some annoying chick whose calling me a whore (don't ask me why! I have noooo idea xD)
anyway! back to ms. peacock! First of all, you gotta verify it, ive had people that made stuff up about people calling me a bitch just because they thought me and that girl were better friends then me and her. If it is true, just fight fire with massive ice glaciers! ignore her, when she talks to you either roll your eyes at a friend next to you or just look at her and coldly say "what now?" don't waste your time with people that don't make you happy. do school stuff to get it off your mind! you become happier AND you get awesome grades! its a win win! :D keep me updated and feel better :)
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (17 September 2010):
Hi there. First of all, don't every worry about what other people say. What someone else thinks doesn't matter at all.
It's far more important to believe in yourself and that you are already a worthy human being.
Never let the opinion of another person be more important to you, than what you think of yourself. What you think about yourself is what counts. You deserve the best, so live every day of your life that way.
This other girl is probably jealous of you in some way. To feel jealous shows insecurity and a low self-esteem. Take her comments with a grain of salt - don't let them bother you, they are only words.
This girl who called you names, is unimportant in the grand scheme of things. You have plenty of other friends. Perhaps she feels that you give more attention to your other friends but not enough to her. Some people get a bit sensitive about those things.
You are all at an age now (13-15 years old), where you are still finding yourselves and getting to know what you like and don't like. Unfortunately, she is not coping as well as the rest of you. She might feel excluded in some way from your circle of friends. Maybe she has an unhappy home life (her parents might fight a lot), or they are not close to each other and don't share their lives with each other - this happens and causes isolation and loneliness. She might be a bit lonely.
In the meantime, don't bully her (by exclusion), and just be friendly, respectful and considerate of her feelings - and for that matter, with all your friends. It's all about acceptance. Accepting people for who they are, unconditionally. Treat all of your friends (including this other girl), equally. Don't have favourites.
We treat other people in life the way we would like to be treated.
If you treat her well, she will start to feel a bit more confident and her behaviour will also reflect this.
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): Speaking from experience, my advice is to ask her if it is true. If u truly like her as a friend then at least hear her out instead of just relying on what your other friend told you. She might not have said anything bad about you (maybe your other friend who told you she called you a loser is feeling a bit jealous, insecure or just misheard her). If she did call you a loser then cut her loose, she isn't worth your time.
But my advice is, if u want her as a friend then give her a chance to explain before you make ur OWN decision about what to do.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 September 2010):
 Oh peacock20, you aren't having such a hot school year are you dear? Doesn't even sound like a friend to me, just what I like to call a chameleon who blends into groups when she really has no friends because no one can stand her. I suggest you remove her from your table at lunch, and then next time she tries to sit next to you and be fake with you, turn to her and ask her a rhetorical question," Why are you sitting near me? I'm a loser, remember." say it with a nasty look and move away from her. Delete her from your phone, email and any other contacts..Even though she's a fake rat, I still pity her because really she no friends, but it's her own fault.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 September 2010):
 Honestly, her opinion doesn't matter. All you will get out of this is drama.
Since you already sent the e-mail, I guess I would wait and see if she responds. Give her a week if not, drop it and delete her info.
Don't waste time on this, spend it on your studies. It can be hard getting back in the swing of things the first couple of months of school so please, don't be so hard on yourself.
...............................
|
