A
female
age
30-35,
*weetheart1nonly
writes:I just found out my ex that treated me bad and we broke up, he broke up with me though he had called, apologising, preaching love and wants me back is sick. He has kidney stones.Is it okay for me to call him a lot to know how he's doing or what?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 November 2009):
No, you shouldn't. You've broken up and started to move on. Let this be.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): Hon, if you want him back, then call. Otherwise don't.
As the anon said, he isn't going to die from kidney stones, but the pain is such that he'll probably want to at some point. There are three treatments that I'm aware of for them: (1) drink lots of water and wait for nature to take its course; (2) ultrasonic vibration, where he's placed in a big vat of water and pummeled with sound to break the stones up; and (3) surgery. All of the above mean a whole bunch of pain. If you want to be his nurse or counsellor, then go for it. But if you're really disinterested and just wanting to be classy about the situation, know that he'll interpret your calls as anything but disinterested.
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (11 November 2009):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know I'm not getting back with him. I have made up my mind to that but what I don't know if it's necessary or ok for me to call often to ask about the pain or I should just ignore?
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (11 November 2009):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNot necessarily treating me bad, you know ups and downs in relationships, then he broke up with me after an argument. He then called months later apologising and trying to get back with me to make things up.He called me and told me he had kidney stones, in pain and all that, so I'm thinking if I should call him more often to know how he's doing plus the pain?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): Kidney stones are painful but not life threatening.. he is using a bit of emotional blackmail to make to feel bad... and before you know it... you will be back with your ex, yes, the one that treated you badly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): If he 'treated you bad' then getting in touch with him for any reason just gives him the idea that he can go on treating you bad. Move on.
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