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female
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anonymous
writes: my ex and i have been talking on and off for a year..he knows i want to get back and i think eventually we might actually see each other..i called over a week ago and asked if he wanted to talk more often and maybe get together soon and he said he had no problem with that..he called me last week on a saturday night..i was suprised but decided to call back and we spoke for awhile.A friend said maybe just follow his pattern because he waited 10 days to call so she said just let the week go by and call him at the end of the weekend.I actually wanted to text him tonight on a friday night to just casually say how is your night going?I am just really undecided about my approach and the best way to go about things. One friend says to still wait for sunday and another says why not text him; he called you a few times this year on a friday or saturday but you can't text him once on one of the going out nights. She actually said maybe if i keep giving him all this space he might meet someone else.So i am really unsure what to do now. Do i go back and forth with sometimes giving him space but then sometimes being spontaneous and random and text him on a friday night asking how he is or call sunday and if we speak call again wednesday to increase our closeness. Not to do it all the time but test it out?Will this chase the person away? This past year i basically tried to prove to him that i changed in the sense that i am older and not the same person--jealous, questioning etc. I did learn from my mistakes but i was very young at the time and he is older.I am just unsure on how to go about this...any thoughts? What do i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): I say to ask yourself what would the "jealous, questioning, etc." person that you were do? Then do the opposite. My guess is that the person you were before would give him very little space, and the person you're striving to be would try her dead best to give him some space.
He probably already has in his head that he may or may not be willing to get back with you. If he's thinking he may, then the new-and-improved you may be just what the doctor ordered.
Does that mean he might meet someone else? Well, sending him that text doesn't mean he WON'T find someone else, so that's not really the issue here.
My vote is to wait until Sunday, then send him a text asking, maybe, "How was your weekend?" and see where that goes.
To help the time go by faster, make some plans on your own. There would be nothing better than your being busy when he DOES call, even if you're just at the mall window shopping.
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female
reader, SweetindianGirl  +, writes (25 September 2010):
the fact that you are so cautious proves you love him! i suggest you just wait until sunday bc what difference will it really make?! this way when he calls you can ssay yhey!!! i wa sjust going to call yoU!!!!!!!!!!! i know how scared you feel...i hope one day to have my guy who doesnt wish to be wid me now bc i drove him crazy for my insecurities comes BACk and i can take my own advise. but its best to go super slow but not so slow th at he thinks you dont want him!
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