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male
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anonymous
writes: Hello. I am 24, as is my girlfriend. We've been dating for about 3 months now and things are going very well.The other day we were at the mall and when she pulled out her wallet to pay for something, she pulled out a photo of her ex-boyfriend. They had dated for 3 years. They have been broken up for a year now.I was a bit bothered by it, as she stated they broke up a year ago but remained friends. The photo was hidden inside on of the wallets small pockets. She said she forgot it was in there. When I asked her what she was going to do with it, she said "I dont know". The next day she told me that she took it home with her and placed it in an old album that had other pictures of her and her ex-boyfriend.Now, I do understand that alot of girls like to keep things from past relationships (i.e. pitures, gifts, letters, etc..) and that doesn't make me mad, but what made me a little frustrated was that she went out of her way to keep the photo after she discovered it while at the mall and then took it home and put it in an album. Should this concern me?I feel bothered by it because why is it so important for her to keep a photo of her ex? She says she doesn't have feelings for him. But if they broke up a year ago and remained "friends" why didnt she ever take the photo out? She doesn't have any pictures of any other friends in her wallet? I just don't understand why it was so important for her to keep it, take it home, pull out the old photo album and put it in there.She said that he doesnt mean anything to her and that she doesnt have feelings for him anymore. Then why keep that particular photo when you have others at home? Why add to the collection?If it were me, it wouldn't mean that much to go though so much trouble and be so set on keeping the photo. What is your take on this?Jeff
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female
reader, www.chatterz.co.uk +, writes (23 November 2005):
If they'd only recently split up then I'd be concerned but not after a year. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. I am 31 and have photos of all of my ex boyfriends in albums as my past is what made me who my boyfriend loves now. As long as it isn't out on display I don't see any harm in it.If you were to ask her to get rid of them then that would be asking for trouble. My ex tore up old photos of mine and I never forgave him for it. My memories distroyed.
A
male
reader, richardwil +, writes (19 November 2005):
sorry to buck the trend, but photos of exes belong in old boxes in the loft. There is no way she should keep his photo so long into your relationship. OK it may be an oversight, but most women I know know exactly what is where in their wallets! Make it clear you were hurt that she's still carrying his photo with her. It's the way you're feeling which should be more important to her than a photo of her ex. You are quite justified in being upset - I would be too, but keep it in perspective, it is still only a photo at the end of the day.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2005): Hi--this actually reminded me of what happened with my recent bf and him seeing an album I had of old pics of me and my ex-fiancee...Now I don't have any feelings whatsoever for my fiancee or am nostalgic really, but I kept it as a reminder not to make the same mistakes with the bf I'm with now--her having the pic in her wallet was probably one of those things she didn't clean out and complteley forgot about when she was getting rid of stuff from her ex..pictures (for me anyway) are the last things to go...it sounds innocent to me and her putting it in an album--maybe she didn't wnat to accidentally run into it again and putting it in one place along with other pics would at least lessen the chance of her discovering it again while by surprise--i wouldn't be worried about her keeping the photo..my bf was a little anxious as to why I had a whole album too--but what matters is your future with her, not her past so try not to get too upset about it
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A
female
reader, not again +, writes (18 November 2005):
hi there, it was weird that it was there but it als looks like she genuinely had forgotten it was there. Now the picture is in an albulm so you can forget about it. If the picture was still in her wallet or if she had a picture of him on her wall or something then you should be orried, but now I think you can let it go.
I dont have a spaecial albulm for my ex boyfriends, but I do have a few random photos of my exes scattered amongst my other photos. I dont think that keeping the photo is anything to worry about.
Forfet about it unless something else happens. :)
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (17 November 2005):
 I would place my bet that she probably forgot,that it was in there.If on the other hand the photo was displayed right in front of the purse then maybe i would get suspicious.She has taken the photo out and has put it in her album.I dont think you have anything to worry about.
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