A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so like a year ago i got really close to this girl, we made out alot and for a moment things almost went all the way.i recently started speaking to her again and i still feels this sexual attraction we had back then, im not sure if she does but i have a feel we could be FWB again, the only thing is i know she has slept with like 5 different lads in the past year and a half, should i stay away? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009): If you were a virgin and looking for future wife material then I could understand your concern, but you are looking for someone who is easy for casual sex, no strings attached. You want the same as what she has apparently been doing, so you get what you get. You have no right to complain about her sexual easiness, as that is what you are looking for.
If you are concerned about STIs then ask her about it and use a condom. Hell, use a condom anyway.
If we place high standards on ourselves then it is reasonable to want someone with those same standards. However, it is not right to expect a partner to live up to higher standards then we place on ourselves and then to just use them for casual sex.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (24 August 2009):
 Our poster is not asking if he should date her, he is thinking of pursuing a FWB relationship--should he see her as a friend with sex on the side? That's the question.
I have to say that a guy that wants a FWB relationship isn't really in a position to negatively judge a girl who might have had casual sex relationships in the past, as that is the type of relationship he is in fact asking her to enter into with him.
I'd say you could ask her if she'd be interested, but it's entirely up to her if she would have you. If she's not, the question is moot. Just because she's been with other guys gives you no guarantee that she will want to have sex with you. So by all means ask her, but don't judge a girl for her past when you're preparing to be casual sex guy #6--that's just hypocritical.
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A
female
reader, kittykhaos +, writes (24 August 2009):
 Fair enough it came across as if you were telling him not to invest emotionally and I was pointing out that because she has slept with that many people it didn't mean she was incapable of pursuing a emotional relationship. poster if you like this girl please try to forgive her for her past I'm sure she is not proud of it and I'm sure she is a lovely girl.
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A
female
reader, kittykhaos +, writes (23 August 2009):
I know some people will judge me for the answer i am about to give but, I was in a violent relationship and i didn't sleep with my ex 10 months prior to the relationship ending (i also didn't cheat on him). After the end of the relationship i knew i couldn't be with the person i wanted to be with and so i went on a bit of a downer. I managed to sleep with 11 people in less than a year i am by no means a *slag* i ran a busy night club and had plenty of oppitunity to meet people i was always careful and responsable in my choices. I am not a cheat and my sexual history has no bairing on how faithful i am in a relationship. since then (2 years later) i eventually got to be with the person i loved i haven't slept with another man since despite the fact the relationship with him didn't work out ( 5 months ago). You never know what kind of place she was in at the time please don't judge her people make mistakes. I wish i could retract my past but i can't. I am not a slag and i wont sleep around again but i had spent 4 years in a relationship where my partner hit me and told me i was unattractive and consitently cheated in a way it was my way of regaining my self esteem. I realise it was the wrong way but sometimes you have to make mistakes to learn from them. Please don't be to harsh on her. q1605 its people like you who make girls like me feel worthless.
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