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anonymous
writes: i went out with my mates. there's this girl. i've been told she's rejected alot of boys because she's not the dating time but she is so pretty. well i'm quite patient. today i talked alot to her today.i try and make the most of the day.but today as soon as i got home i felt something was missing. i cant get her out of my head!i would like to go out with her but she'll say no. so how can i ask her out as friend one on one? it's really awkward to ask her that because she'll just stare at me in disbelief. so i dunno if you guys get what i'm tryin to say. she always takes her best mate along. i just want to go alone for once just so i can prove i wanna stay friends, be normal like not push her, safe, and give her space in her mine so she feels easy with me.all help appreciated thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, maverick  +, writes (7 May 2007):
 Sounds like a challenge.
Great I think you and I are going to get on famously. First up you are not going to ask her out... yet. And when you finally do... you won't "exactly" ask her out.
First up, lets conmctrate on making sure your a desirable sexy bloke. Of course you are! You are confident, well groomed (you don't have be Brad Pitt - just look after your appearance. If in doubt short hair cut and clean shave.), you're funny and witty (watch comedy DVDs to develop a sense of humour - you'll need it), you walk with a good posture (don't slouch), and you have the odd high status accessory (nice wrist watch). Also you have a vast list of hobbies and interest and an interesting life.
Great, so you see her every now and again and you say hello and to have a conversation with her. Notice how I didn't say talk to her? Well you're going to let her do the talking for you. Always smile and make eye contact (just don't glare) - it displays confidence and attraction. You should aim to ask her open questions, WHERE, WHAT, WHEN, WHY and HOW? For eample try lead with a statement first the question.
"That's areally cool necklace, how did you come across that?" let her talk more and more.... then you follow up with statement then question. "You got it from Dubai? VEry cool the furtherst I've everbeen is Watford. So what was it like?"... That was funny and you'll make her feel like the centre of attention thorughout. If she's interested she will pick up on the bits you say - "Watford? Why did you go there?" then you can give a bit of interesting info about yourself. Then leave on a good note. "Sorry I've gotta go - need to pick my bike from somewhere" - never say I will catch you soon or make arrangements to catch up (if you know where she is you can "bump" into each other).
Just avoid it turning into an interrogation and keep it short and sweet (don't hang around). Try this for a week or two and keep it random - don't do it everyday or she will be sick of you.
At the end of the week or two, she will be comfortable with you. She'll think you're a great guy (your funny), your confident (body language), knows how to look after himself (clean shave & haircut), has money (nice watch or mobile phone), you're really interesting and above all else you have a friendly level of interest in her.
Once you're ok with all you can ask her out. Sorry you won't actually be asking her out. You're going to offer her to join you! There's a difference between:
1 - Would you like to go to the cafe with me?
2 - I am going to cafe later. Would you like to join me?
1 puts a lot of pressure on her but with 2, its a lot softer and doesn't put much pressure on her. If she says no to one you're going to be embarassed. But if she says no to 2 then you don't worry about it and you still go to the cafe anyways! This shows you have your own life and you are independent. You've invited her to join you - she won't make a dent in your plans. Also, you invite her only - that way she will find it rude to drag her friend along!
That's as much as I can cram on here but good luck. Just one last thing she might still say no so don't worry about it... just let go. Oh and for the first place you take her - always go for a cafe or coffee shop. Somehwere cheap, simple and free of people you both know... you'll see why...
Do take care mate and let me know what you decide.
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