A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 42, my girlfriend of 4 years is 26. I originally lived with my brother after splitting with my previous girlfriend. 2 years ago, my now girlfriend wanted us to get our own places, live seperately for a year or , then move in together. I got a flat virtually straight away, which takes half of my wage to keep and run. She still has made no attemp to move out of her parents house. So while I'm almost broke every month, she manages to save for a depostit on a house, because now she wants to buy a house and wont leave her parents until she has a mortgage. Thing is, she cant get a big enough mortgage on her own, but wont join with me to get the mortgage she wants, because she still wants us to live seperately before moving in together.On top of all that, no one actually knows we are dating. People knew at the begining, then we split up after nearly 2 years. She told her friends and parents we split and they all had their opinions even though none of her friends had ever met me. But when we got back together it was on the condition she didnt have to tell anyone. I agreed thinking it would just be for a couple of months, but we been back together for 2 years and she still wont tell anyone. She always got an excuse why not, such as- her friends will dump her if they find out, or, her parents will disown her if they find out. Yeah, none of them will be happy at first, but she 26 and its up to her who she dates.All my friends and family tell me to get rid of her as she will never change her mind. And as time goes on, I think they may be right.Its nothing to do with the age gap. She more bothered about what her friends will think, than about our future together.Any advice or suggestions welcome
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): I think she is taking you for a ride. Unless she is prepared to openly go out with you, I would end it. Why on earth does it have to remain a secret. Is she embarrassed about going out with a middle-aged man. I think so. She is doing everything to suit herself and sounds quite immature. You could find that she eventually gets her own place and wants nothing to do with you. Time for some straight talking I think. You will have to risk losing her or end of a play a fool.
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