A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is very boring in bed?I do not know what to do as I love her very much but I am worried that I may get bored. I have tried talking to her but she sees it as criticism and then says that she feels worse. I do not feel desired by her..Help and Advice Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): sweety,,,, run.... you can fall in love with someone else. Sex is a major part of a relationship. If she cant satisfy your needs believe me, someone else can.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007): There may be a major miscommunication between the 2 of you about sex. (or maybe not, but here's one example of how things can get mixed up.) I am going through something with my boyfriend where we are misconnecting. At first I thought he wasn't interested/wasn't attracted to me, and felt rejected - actually turns out he was depressed. I stopped acting interested in sex because it is embarrassing to be rejected - and so he thought I wasn't interested in sex or attracted to HIM. If you said anything critical about her body or made her feel embarrassed at first, she may be reluctant to become vulnerable. Or she may just be shy, or have low self esteem. It can't hurt to tell her she is pretty and sexy, and you love how her hair smells, etc., it may help her loosen up a little (and she definitely wont feel criticized.) Maybe you should try a make-out session in bed, lots of kissing, then some touching, and see if she relaxes a little - women can take longer to warm up to sex.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007): Perhaps you are boring in bed, maybe you are not inspiring her to be more open an adventurous because you are not taking the lead and suggesting new positions and are not learning what turs her on. Start surprising her, and start opening up and talking to her without complaining and whining and begging, take the lead and go for it...she might surprise you!
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A
female
reader, goodlistener +, writes (6 June 2007):
I had the same problem with my boyfriend. The way i went about is in a conversation i asked what his fantasies were and asked if there was any i could help with. Also ask what sort of things she likes in bed, what she likes and what she doesn't like. Do it in a conversation if she is quite shy talking about sex. Seem as though you wanna do everything possible to satisfy her, once shes found this out show her things what she can do to you.
Good luck honey
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007): First off, You two need to get the communication between you flowing. If the bedroom is a boring place now, so will any ongoing relationship.If you both cannot open up the lines of verbal communications, the physical relationship won't get off the ground either.And perhaps it's time that you both move on with your lives.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007): Maybe she doesn't feel that you appreciate her enough. So I would be inclined to whisk her away for a weekend. Spoil her something rotten, loads of attention, meal, a show, flowers and a few drinks. Maybe she will feel a little more relaxed and who knows she may be a little more enthusiastic. Give it a try, you have nothing to lose.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (6 June 2007):
 Does she have low self-esteem?
Does she actually enjoy sex?
Is there something that is on her mind s which stops her "getting in the mood"?
It is hard when your feelings are not returned in this fashion, as you say you do not feel desired by her, which hurts when its the person you love.
Discuss this over a quiet meal and just try and get things in the open. You cant be blamed for trying to figure out why she finds it hard to open up to you. Sex should be something that evolves with the relationship.
Just be gentle with her feelings and dont try and back her into a corner, this will just shut her off and she wont want to answer your questions.
I believe there is more to this than her just enjoying sex with you, something mentally which stops her from becoming intimate.
Just use your communication with her and try and be understanding and listen to anything she has to say about the subject.
R
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