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She told me she was bad news and would eventuallly hurt me

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Question - (17 January 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 January 2016)
A male South Africa age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello helpful people

I have been seeing a girl for around 3 months now, the relationship started as a friendly but also sexual relationship, iv grown to really like this girl, and enjoy spending time with her. She really likes me to, here comes the but, 2015 was a hard year for her, she hurt people and got hurt in the process to. As a result she thinks of her self as a bad person when it comes to people, she told me from the start, I'm bad news and you should really just stay away from me. So a week ago she told me our physical relationship must stop, because she likes me to much and knows she will just end up hurting me one day, and she doesn't want that. She cried a bit telling me this, she is about as far from the average girl as you will find, this is partially why I like her so much. She says she is bad with people but is also a social butterfly, she has loads of friends and loves spending time with all of them, this is actually great for me as I spend allot of time away from home due to my work.

Obviously I can't explain all the details of the two of us and expect a yes or no answer, but would love some outsider opinions figuring out what to do.

Since she told me our physical relationship must stop, we have had a more passionate relationship than ever, but due to my job I haven't seen her for 2 days now, and she seems a bit more distant. We usually chat every day, sometimes for hours.

So options please, do I listen to her advice and give up on continuing a relationship with her, or do I try even harder to show her how much she means to me.

Keeping in mind that this is difficult for me because, like I said, she no ordinary girl and probably is bad news in some ways :)

Thanks for reading, and thank you to anyone who replies

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2016):

Thanks for the reply Denizen, that has been my approach last couple of days and think your 100% right!

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (17 January 2016):

Denizen agony auntYou have to back off. If there is any interaction you must be cordial, warm but not needy. Sometimes women need space to decide what they want. Respecting their wishes shows strength, calmness and respect.

You might think that camping on her doorstep will show that you really mean business. My experience is that is not how it works.

If she decides she wants you she will let you know. Be cool.

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