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She told me it wasnt working so we continued to meet as friends, I am falling for her but scared to tell her!

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 September 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 11 September 2006)
A male , *ack23 writes:

I have been meeting with my mates sister regulary for couple of months now, my mate is fine with it the probelm is my feelings.

The first night we met i kissed her, and she was happy with it and so we continued to meet. Then after just a week she became distant and told me it wasnt working out and that she was interested in someone else. I was fine with it, wasnt like we we're that attached, so I asked to meet as friends which was agreed.

We usually meet for three nights a week, and have been getting really close. When we are together we are just like a couple messing about and constantly hugging, getting lost in each others eyes and that feeling of genuine happiness.

The problem is the more I get to know her the more I am falling for her, and I cant tell if she feel the same. Im worried to ask her incase she doesnt feel the same and then stops seeing me.

Im quite a closed off person but cant help but be completely open with her, I dont want to cause any problems with the friendship and would rather just carry on as we are than tell her and ruin everything.

But I just so what to tell her and and make it more than what it is now! Anyone with any advice, you comments would be greatly appriciated. Thankyou

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A female reader, camille United Kingdom +, writes (11 September 2006):

camille agony auntOh that's lovely! I'm so pleased you had the courage to say something! Yay!

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A male reader, jack23 +, writes (11 September 2006):

jack23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jack23 agony auntThankyou for your responce. When I read it I was a little bit withdrawn and was unsure that it was the right thing to do, but then I couldnt really see much other choice other than carrying on like normal.

So last night I met up with her and took a deep breathe and decided to tell her that I think its a bad idea that we carry on meeting, she was genuinely hurt and confused and ask that I explain. I then explained that I had feelings for her and that I couldnt just carry on like it anymore. We then had a long discussion through which she explained that she wasnt seeing anyone else (my fault), and that she had previously ended our interactions due to her own issues that she was having at the time. She ended by expressing her true feelings and confirming that she felt exactly that same as I do. Gotta say that was a shock to the system! didnt see that one coming. But if I hadnt followed the advice given I'd still be stuck in step one.

So thank you! :)

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A female reader, camille United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2006):

camille agony auntYou can't carry on as it is. You have feelings for her, that much you know. Whether she feels the same or not, she told you she likes someone else and it wasn't working, so you can only really go off that. It sounds like she's enjoying the attention. It's not fair if she'd misleading you, but this is not how friends act. The fact your feelings are stronger is making me think that you should stop meeting with her. If she wants to know why, either be straight and tell her because when you're together you're sensing she feels the same and it's confusing or just see what the distance and time apart holds. Who knows, when she realises what she's lost, she may see that she does in fact have feelings too. Asking to meet as friends and then meeting 3 times a a week seems a bit much. If you can't bear not to see her, maybe just once a week, but I'd be wanting answers if I were you.

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