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male
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*uscles
writes: Earlier today whilst lying with my girlfriend (Been with her 5 n a half months) she suddenly spoke about how paranoid she is. She said that she has been really paranoid about me whenever I don't feel in the mood for lots of kissing and hugs and all that. She told me that she thinks that I don't love her....And I explained that I got that impression from her and that she needs to stop it because it pushes me away etc....and she agreed...And we were happy to get it out in the open...Then she suddenly said 'I can't imagine not seeing you again, it really haunts me...' and started crying. It really upset me too....Just seeing her crying in front of me over me really touched me, however I just wanted to know if this is normal in girls or is she overeacting or is she using it as a trap for me to feel guilty and make me stay with her? Just curious...Thanks
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reader, Muscles +, writes (24 May 2006):
Muscles is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replys ... She is a very sweet genuine person and is a veryy emotional girl, also very insecure...We had a long chat about it today before she went into tears aout her paranoia and i explained to her that she has nothing to worry about and that lets just have fun and stop keep worrying about things that 'could' happen in the future... then she said that which I thought was sweet but i can't face her crying i just don't like being upset or seeing someone upset and im sure most people don't...
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (24 May 2006):
 I wouldn't be too quick to brush this off as "hormonal". That's pretty insulting and dismissive to the young woman in question, when we only have your description of one conversation to go on!
Look more deeply into your time with her and think about the way that she normally responds when you've talked about things between you. Does she often dissolve into teariness? And think about other aspects you've seen: does she cry at sad movies? Does she cry at cute things, like kittens and babies? Does she cry when she's pleased or happy?
Some people are born "cryers"; that's not weird. Other people can use tears as a manipulative tool, and you have to harden your own heart against that. Still other times, it might be hormonal, or she might just have been really happy to be with you and frightened that it might end some day.
Look at the way she's responded historically to intimate discussions, and whether she's cried since. You can piece together from that whether that's her normal response, a guileful one, or just a monthly hiccup.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2006): Just sounds hormonal to me...
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A
female
reader, ShortandSweet? +, writes (24 May 2006):
 For some girls - sensitive, genuine etc, this could be normal behaviour, Muscles. Some girls, on the other hand, can use tears to manipulate. Trust eachother, talk to each other without barriers. Ask her to tell you what is making her cry - could it be hormonal? ( This can really have an effect - not just an excuse!) Could it be that you are ignoring something? If you both want to sort it out- you will be honest with eachother. TALK! Good luck, sweetheart xxxx
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