A
male
age
30-35,
*rion
writes:Well guys im pretty much screwed.I like this girl but she has a boyfriend. I really know i should move on but it is so freaking hard. I can't stop thinking about her. I have never connected with anyone as well as her. We are good friends and a lot of people think we are dating cuz we get along so well. She knows i like her but she hates it when other people bring it up and say that she likes me back. However i cannot seem to forget about it (especially since i see her everday) i want to move on im miserable. The though of us never working out is enough to make me wanna throw up. Im not even attracted to any othr girls because i have found what perfection is like and nothing else can beat her. She seriously was my image of the perfect girl and i will never get to know what could have been.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (10 April 2008):
I'm sorry for how you are feeling. However, things will get better! I promise! I think most people have felt like this at some stage in their life, if not a fair few times. Its hard but we get through it which is good :)
It seems to me you may put this girl up on a pedastal, you see her as perfect and you believe no one in the whole entire world will ever be able to be better then her. Does this seem logical to you really? I mean when you think about it, no one is perfect are they? I'm sure she has MANY faults you just havent seen yet. That is something you would of probably only discovered if you were in a relationship with her.
Often relationships with people we crush over are never what they seem. We build the person up in our head to often be someone so perfect which infact they cannot ever be because perfectionism doesnt exist. We also often build up what a relationship with them would be like and think 'if only i could have them, life would be 100% perfect and i would awlays be happy'...now realistically this isnt right either. When you find yourself thinking such thoughts, stop and take a minute to think about how logical is it really?
You wonder what could have been...well my prediction is that you would of been very disapointed if you did ever date her, because as mentioned above, you have built her up in your mind to be someone who honestly cant exist, unfortunately.
There are heaps of other girls out there who will be great for you, who will feel for you the way you feel for them, who will make you happy! But they wont be perfect, just like this girl isnt. I suggest you keep as much distance from her as you can to help you move on. You may need to tell her this so hopefully she will support your decision. Then later once you have moved on, you may be able to be friends again. Keep looking, trust me there is ALWAYS someone else out there for you.
A
female
reader, yoginipirate +, writes (10 April 2008):
 Wow, good thing you didn't get together. There is nowhere to go from being thought of as perfect, except DOWN. Long way to fall. Ouch. She would be disappointing you for merely committing the crime of being human. You said it---she's your image. Go get with someone who wants to be with you too. Distance will do you some good. I really might recommend that someone go all out to win someone over---but she's just an ideal to you. Not to be harsh, but no one will measure up for you, until you grow up a bit. A little distance will do you some good. Also, try thinking of women as people, like you, that should help.
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