A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Help,After 18 month split(We lived together for 3 years), I still desperately love my ex girlfriend. Saw her tonight with new boyfriend. Received the below. How do you interpret it? Penny lectureRe your earlier email - I haven't "broken" friends with you and never said I had - the last time I did that to anyone I was 5 years old. I can assure you -my reaction is absolutely normal-ask anyone! Yes you hurt me hugely, but I know it wasn't intentional- so stop focusing inwardly, over analysing and beating yourself up when there is no need. You did that with Professional. And now with me. As for boyfriends since you - neither they nor I have viewed you as a threat in anyway. Not an issue. Please accept I don't hold any grudges whatsoever - it's all in the past, but I'm not about to start going out for lunches etc, because if I'm very honest it does bring back unhappy memories. So, I'm not going to discuss this again - please. If our paths happen to cross at tennis or somewhere that's absolutely fine. Hope your Mum has cheered up. Helen
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 I agree: she's over you and is letting you down. Not so gently, though.
A
female
reader, confusd31  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 I definitly think this girl is trying to leave you down as gently as she can. She is aware that you are hurting but if i am brutally honest with you she sounds like she is over you. That may be hard for you to hear and it must be awful to see her with somebody else but you need to move on.
The right person is out there for you dont waste anymore time on someone who isnt even interested in being friends.
best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): I agree with juliet, it sounds like quite a clear message to me.
It seems like you need to take a step back from her and the situation as your "friendship" looks a little too delicate to me and it could hit a raw nerve if you do something inappropriate again.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 Without further info I interprate it this way. You still care about her and kind of would like to get back together. You were hoping to at least be able to see her on a friendly basis, ie lunches. She, however, is not ready to do that. She still cares about you and likes you, but it is still too painful or unconfortable for her to be able to carry on a friendship with you. She will be civil and friendly, but cannot move up to the level of actually having a friendship with you. She is over you though. She doesnt see a possibility of ever getting back together with you (hense you are not a 'threat') and doesnt want to be more than a casual aquaintance with a past together.
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