A
male
age
41-50,
*w1974
writes:Hi, i recently taken a girl out on a date, she's in the middle of a divorce.which went great. To the point of her askin do i want to see her again and do i want to kiss her. I responded with yes to both these questions and was looking forward to the next date. We arranged to meet up the next week and with a day to go she had to cancel. Her job has her on call (police) so if she gets called in she has to go but said hope we can sort out another time? keeping in mind she does live an hour away. We have been in touch again about rearranging but her job's a bit of a problem so she can't make anything concrete but she said said she really wants to see me again. She is also getting a transfer closer due to her friends being up here. Also she keeps asking what have i told my mother about her and what did she say which i find strange. The other day i told her i thought she was stunning which she is. Now she has told me that she's all over the place with her divorce and she's not bein fair to me, i totally understand this. And she doesn't want to stop me from seein anyone else.But she says she wants to stay in touch because she had a really good time when we went out.What should i do next?
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female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (26 March 2008):
Mate it sounds like she really likes you but divorce can really wreck your confidence. Even though you think she is stunning she may not feel that and being a police woman is a very time consuming job. My new partner is a policeman and as much as they don't like to bring work home it does come home with them. I would take things slow and maybe on a day that she is working offer to cook her dinner when she finishes and give her a nice relaxing foot massage and neck rub. She is not saying she has feelings for the ex she is just saying to you that she can feel the effect the divorce has had on her and a possible relationship with you. If you really like her then hang in there mate and offer your support to her and do something something really sweet and she will see what a catch you are. First though the dinner, the massage best way to show a woman you care for her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Hi Sweetheart
When your going through a divorce your mind is all over the place, your emotions are all over the place. And she does not want to pressure you with all this, Its hard for her right now, She doesnt want to stop you from having fun and she likes you but feels that if she can give a proper commitment to a date at this moment then you will get fed up anyway...Its logical thinking and kind thinking she does not want you to be hurt..Plus when you have been married before(or in my case before before and before!!!) :} You are a little worried how people will take to you i.e the worry about what your mother may have said...Its a hard time for her and she is just starting out again, You can feel a faliure if you marriage has ended even though it wasnt your fault, It can go through your mind could I have done more, or whats wrong with me..She needs time hunny and understanding and friends and she likes you so see how it goes being a friend for now, She enjoyed the night out :} she was happy you made her happy :} She does not want to get you down as it a tough time for her right now TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, SexKitten69 +, writes (26 March 2008):
 Hi Hunn,This sounds a like a confusing situation to be in! I have been there too as i had to get divorced.Divorce is complicated and sometimes it's like a greaving process (As in getting over the death of a relationship). Maybe this is causing mixed feelings with her but from what you said in your problem she seems eager to see you again (With saying that she will move).I think the best thing that you can do if you really like her is to support her and try to understand her.As for the asking your mother part, i was the same with my husband as we got together and maybe she is just worried about all the pre-judgement of oh she's been married before etc.I think you should persist at asking her out, i know her job is difficult but that is the career she chose so it's one thing you will have to accept.My main advice would be: To be possistant, understanding and basically just go with the flow of things.Hope this helped, Take Care and Keep us informedPlease Rate this answer:)
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