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She really hurt me, now she wants to see me again, should I??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 June 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2011)
A male Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I was in a relationship with a girl some time ago. Our relationship caused me a lot of pain. I helped her out a lot with issues both emotionally and financially. She lied to me about a lot of things, and I felt treated me badly, with not so much respect. She stood me up many times, and took a lot more than gave, and never listened to me whenever I voiced any complaints, choosing instead to shift the blame on me. In the end, I needed to sever myself from her because she was really hurting me to the point where if I did not get out of the relationship my life would be really damaged. So I cut all contact about 6 months ago.

Recently she got in contact with me again, asking to meet. She apologized for everything and sounded sincere. My anger has died down, my life has gotten back to normal. Time has kinda decreased the desperation which I felt before, which allowed me to sever ties with her.

I did not answer her yet. Should I meet with her? I am scared she will draw me back. Yet, I wonder whether things can be fixed and we can remain friends. Maybe she really is contrite now that she sees I was serious about not taking her crap anymore. And despite all the pain and anger I felt, part of me does miss her. But I am afraid because I know I can't go back to that relationship again, it will kill me. I can only go back if things are different.

Should I risk it and meet her?? Thanks

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A male reader, toooldforthis United States +, writes (6 June 2011):

Hmm. Doesn't sound right to me.

The biggest thing here is that you were putting in so much more than she was. It shouldn't be a one way street, she should have known that at the time of the relationship and not have taken advantage. I feel like she was stringing you along, and is sort of trying to do that now by all of the sudden being so apologetic in a campaign to get you to help her emotionally and financially again.

Might be best to find another girl who appreciates all the things you've offered and reciprocates them towards you.

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A female reader, Keonstah61 United States +, writes (6 June 2011):

Keonstah61 agony auntWell,if she sounded sincere then I would try seeing her.If you dont think she's actually changed when you met her then yeah go back to severing ties with her.But everyone deserves a second or third chance.

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