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male
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anonymous
writes: I have 2 kids with my girlfriend of 7 years we lived together for the last 6 years we broke up 5 months ago i lived in a differnt room in the house 3 mths ago she told me she was dating someone from church and she thinks she is going to marry him. I decide to change my life and give it to god hoping to restore my family I since have been reborn again and i truly love my kids and my girlfriend i want to marry her and start all over with the help of god i know we can have a happy healthy relantship. but she tells me she loves this other man and she never really loved me at all, and regrets she had 2 kids with me. she keeps telling me its god will but i disagree i dont think god likes to seperate families, what do you think?
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male
reader, brand5smi  +, writes (26 September 2008):
you should explain to her the three C's of the relationship
commitment
covanet
communacation
and try to help her find the love that you two once had because she had to love you at one point or another. So i say back up stop helping her because she has a man now and let her fall just make sure your there to catch her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): It sounds like you have done everything you can to keep your girlfriend and I think perhaps it's time to focus on what would be best for you.
Your girlfriend does not know what God's will is, she has intepreted what she thinks it is based on her own perspective. As all human beings do. You are right God encourages marriage and family, but I don't think that necessarily means that people should stay and work in a marriage if that is not what they want.
I think both of you need to stop using God as a means to justify what you want. Your girlfriend, it seems, does not want to be with you. You have had your confidence crushed for a long time now, knowing she wants to be with someone else.
I think you need to think up other options that you have in life. You deserve to have a happy family with a partner who can offer you as much commitment as you need from someone. Your current girlfriend is not this girl and the longer you spend pining over her, the more opportunities you will miss for moving on with your life and finding someone new.
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A
female
reader, Amethyst +, writes (30 October 2006):
 I think she's trying to put the blame on God for her mistake... not to sound too harsh. She never really loved you, then why did she make the most selfless commitment of having kids with you? Once you have kids, you're supposed to put them above anyone else, even yourself. That's why so many divorced parents hold out for years before they finally seperate, it's for the kid's sake.
I know it's hard to hear that someone you truly love doesn't share the same feelings for you, and I might have even upset you by my previous comment... but, you wanted an honest opinion... so I'm giving it to you.
Maybe it is God's will for her to move on with this guy, because maybe God has a woman coming for you that's going to TRULY love you and your kids unconditionally. No one can tell you what to do though... it's between you, your girlfriend, and God now. If she leaves you for this man, don't be discouraged, just look up and pray that God helps you through the hard times, and that if you're meant to be with someone, that he leads you to them now, when you'll need them most.
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