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male
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anonymous
writes: OK, I am a 20 year old guy, and I recently met a fantastic girl who is 18 at a friends birthday party. We hit it off straight away and saw each other the next day. After a week we had sex. Everything was going brilliant we connected really deep and talked to each other for hours and hours. I thought she could be 'the one'. A week ago she went away on holiday with her friend for a week, obviously I was gutted but she was looking forward to it so I said I would miss her and we would talk when she got back. A very hard week went by, I called her when she got back and said we should get together which we did the next day when she said that she wasn't looking for a relationship at the moment and said that she still wants to be my friend, she said it isn't me 'Im perfect' she was crying too. Now Im absolutly distraught, I want to be with her and thought she felt the same because she said she did. I don't know what to do, whether to give her time or say to her that Im dont want a full-on relationship, just a bit of fun. Its killing me. PLEASE HELP!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2006): i would agree that you definitely took things way too fast. that kind of quick relationship can push people away or freak them out. and on top of that, 9 times out of 10, they don't last. that's because you're not building a strong relationship over time. you're rushing everything. and with having only known her for such a short amount of time, there really is no way you could know if she's the one. that takes years because that's how long it takes to truly get to know someone. i would say that maybe this girl went away on vacation and realized that she wants her freedom, or maybe she went away and had time to reflect on how quickly this all was happening. if i were you, i would tell her that you realized how quickly everything happened, and tell her that you want to slow things down and move at a lesser pace. i'd be willing to bet that she may reconsider this relationship with you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2006): they should have gotten to know about eachother before getting intemate
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2006): You two took things way too fast. Step back and reflect on your mistakes and rebuild yourself on other areas of your life. No point in dwelling in this issue, if all it causes u is distress.
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