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She has herpes I need advice and reassurance please.

Tagged as: Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 August 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 August 2008)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

The woman I love has herpes. She takes zyrtec or whatever those pills are called. She tells me with the pills its virtually not there, just outbreaks occur then she takes the pills and it goes away, she was honest and told me at the start of the relation so I was aware, she tells me when she has an outbreak she wont have sex with me to save me, thats understandable. But when shes Ok I still wonder.... What ifs bassically, what if I do catch it some how. Am I just being immature or scared? I really don't want to have to live with that condition. What would you do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008):

I DO have lots of info on the matter. First I think you should be talking to your wife about this. She probably has the best knowledge on the matter considering she is the one that has it. And the medication is called Valtrex. Zrtec is for allergies.

There are a few options for her. She can take Valtrex each time she gets an outbreak or she can take it daily, for those that get more reoccuring outbreaks. If she gets outbreaks often then she should already be taking it daily, which can actually prevent more outbreaks. If she DOESN'T get outbreaks often then it is ok to take only when needed. However, she can take them everyday if she would like. There is a very low chance of passing it along to you if she is not on an outbreak. I didn't say impossible, but very low. If you use a condom, even slimmer chance. However, it is painful to have sex when on an outbreak and she would probably know this already. The time of an outbreak is called "shedding" and that is the highest time to pass this along to someone else. When not on an outbreak the chances are really pretty low.

Talk to your wife and if need be then talk to a doctor together. This ISN'T a life-threatening disease, however it definitely is not fun to have for the first time. But if she knows how to control it, it will not be a problem at all to you or her.

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A male reader, Sandman United States +, writes (10 August 2008):

Sandman agony auntWhat if? What if you do catch it? Well, if you are having (or have had) unprotected sex with her, then your chances of contracting the disease is much higher than if you used a condom.

Even if she doesn't have symptoms, you can still contract the disease. Your chances are much lower than if she has an outbreak, but the risk is still there. Nothing short of abstinence is 100% against Herpes. Sorry.

If you don't want to live with that condition, then don't have sex with her - period.

And consult your doctor before making any decisions. If you choose to stay with her, then great. But Herpes is some heavy baggage to take away from a broken relationship (if that should happen).

Hope this helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008):

I am not prepared to give you any advice on this matter other then: CONSULT your DOCTOR; discuss the situation with him; It is your health that is at risk and I believe with health issues it is better to be rather safe then sorry;

PLEASE do not ignore this; CONSULT with your doctor.

Best wishes and lots of SMILES

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008):

I am not a medical doctor so I would feel irresponsible giving you advice on this subject. There could be an Aunt on this site who knows more about this but I recommend you also seek the advisement of your family doctor. Here is also a link, you can look at.

http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/guide/partner-faq

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