A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I am interested in a colleague who is 7 years older than me.We went out few times for movies. One day I confessed but she rejected me due to age gap. However, she said she felt relaxed and comfortable with me, that's why she likes to go out with me.I told her that I am not giving up and we went for movie again last week.I am wondering should I just treat her as normal friend? I don't want her to feel annoyed because I keep chasing her and to avoid any of us getting hurt in future.Thank you. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2010): Thank you for the replies
Cherry Blossom99,
I am sure to enjoy doing anything with her, even a simple lunch. The problem, in the end, I will be the only one get hurt if she never want to take the relationship to the next level.
BunnyTea,
She said to me, it would be a lie if I has no feelings on me. There are things that I done, really impressed and touched her but she purposely put those aside because of our age. When she is 50s, I will be 40s. And she is sure I will go away. So, we best remained friends. That's the rejection I got.
I don't want to push anymore than I already did. I tried to be strong but I am not strong enough. I told her twice, if she sees no future with me, then please toss me away so I won't get hurt badly in future.
Yet, she agreed to watch movies, I see that as a chance but is that true? I started to flirt a little with her, like a morning text just to let her know, am thinking of her.
Btw, she never initiate any kind of conversation, text, call etc. However, she doesn't seem to avoid when I do so. But I don't know if I continue it, will annoy her, and giving me false hope.
I never know loving is that hard. For me, I love as a whole, I like the things that she doesn't about herself, because that is part of her. Well, not everyone thinks the same though.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2010): If you continue to go out with her as a friend, then can you handle the fact that she doesn't want anything more than just friendship? Will this stop you looking for love elsewhere, if you continue to have hope with something happening with her?Do you really want to be with someone you had to pursuade getting into a relationship with you?...perhaps some questions to think of.If she is not interested in anything more than friendship and you are, then it's probably best to stop going out with her on 'dates' as you will only get hurt. You could go out with other colleagues perhaps rather than just the two of you, so you still spend some time together if you like each others company, but I don't think personally it's a good idea to continue one on one. If you explain to her that you want more and she can't give that to you, then i'm sure she would respect you if you explained that therefore you don't think you should continue going out to do things together by yourselves.All the best.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (18 May 2010):
 It's difficult to offer you any sort of real observation due to the general lack of information presented. She rejected you due to age gap. "Rejection" can range from No, thanks. to F* off, buster! to I'm calling the police. So what form of rejection did you get?
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A
female
reader, Cherry_Blossom99  +, writes (18 May 2010):
 Hi, obviously I don't know either of you so don't take this as gospel, but i hope it helps! If she has said that she felt relaxed with you and had a great time whilst she didn't know about the age gap i would say that it's not a big deal. I would say that it's the idea of going out with an older man that is putting her off of the idea. If i were you i would back off on the dating front and let her know you enjoy her company and arrange things to do together, such as the movies or a trip with a few friends...once she sees how well she gets on with you as a friend, despite your age difference, she will then come to realise that you get on too well for the age to be even a slight problem. hope this has helped and good luck!! x
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