A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Since last year, it has becomes long distance relationship. It goes well for the first few months then have a huge fight.Problem rooted from trust issue and we ended up badly. I believe it is both fault. If only I trust her little more and if only she takes little time to explain.2 weeks past. I miss her a lot and finally give her a call. She did answer and appear much nicer to talk to. Somehow, I feel she miss me too.I been calling for 3 days. The previous one, there been lot of silent moment so I stop calling. She doesn't call nor replied my emails. I saw her online but she doesn't initiate any communication so far.I can't keep going on like this. One day if she has bf or married, I will end up miserable and missing her forever.I know I can't ask everyone how she feels about me because only she has the answer. I can't ask her either.From her doings, does that mean it is best for me to move on? I am thinking if she holds hope, she can initiate contact too right? What should I do?Thanks.
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 well if you feel that strongly about it talk to her.
you talk to her first on messenger or call her if she doesn't answer leave an answer phone and ask her to call you back because you need to chat to her and find out what's going on with her...
that's the only way you'll get an answer is if you ask her.
A
male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (22 July 2009):
 Personally I would go with the last email approach. Basically just write what you have said here.Tell her how you feel,but your getting the impression she doesn`t feel the same,and why.Let her know that this is your last effort to contact her,and make it so.So take your time with it and get it right the first time.After that she will either contact you or not and you will find out what you need to know.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): Thanks for the advices.
It is hard for me to move on because I still have feelings on her.
Even when we are together, she rarely reply my emails, like once a week.
However, if she is online in instant messenger, she will at least say hi especially if I am there first. But sadly, not anymore.
The strange part, for the first 2 times I called, she talked happily. When there is another incoming call, she asked me to call back.
Another funny thing is, she even asked me to call her back after some time to wake her up. Can't she set her own alarm?
Aren't that show she wants to talk too?
On the other hand, if she does want to talk, why can't she initiate any form of communication?
I am sorry that I asked a lot of questions. I am trying to understand the situation better so that I won't regret it in future if I decide to give up.
And to understand it better, everyone advices are greatly appreciated.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (22 July 2009):
i think she has moved on or wants to move on i mean she doesn't seem that into you i mean she won't initiate contact with you via instant messenger she won't talk for long or she just won't answer her phone.
you don't deserve that from a girl you deserve to move on and find someone you'll be really happy with and someone who'll be happy to be with you.
i mean you say if she gets a boyfriend or gets married you'll miss her forever, ok maybe you'll miss her but certainly won't be forever because you'll find someone of your own and she'll be gutted she missed out and you'll live your life separately from her and you'll be so happy and won't regret moving on because you'll have found someone you KNOW you're compatible with.
hope this helps :)
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (22 July 2009):
If she is not replying and not answering then maybe you should move on. I know it's easier said than done- but there are so many girls out there, at first they may not "measure up" since you will have this girl stuck in your mind- but you will see: once you start giving chances to other women they will have traits and characteristics that you will adore! You can choose to be miserable because of one girl who wont give you the time of day, or search for happiness and quite possibly end up with someone who will give you all their time and then some. It's a rough situation to let go of someone who wont even communicate with you to tell you what they want or don't want- but you shouldn't wait around forever just because of some girl that wont even talk to you.
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