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male
,
*r sir
writes: I recently became interest in a woman. We were co-workers with a company. Last year, I transferred to a different division. After my transfer, the two of us began serving together on a advisory board.I began to develop feelings for her. It grew more intense over time. Back in the spring, she did something that I was impressed with. I called her up and told her that I was impressed. She told me I was very thoughtful. She seemed more friendlier than usual the next few meetings.After the meeting, I asked her to lunch. She said yes. But when I called, she did not return the call. A week later, I asked her to serve on a workgroup with me and she said yes. She attended all of the meeting and proved to be very helpful.About two months ago, she left the agency. She invited to me to her after-work party. At the party, she suggessted that we get together after she started her new job.Three weeks ago I called her at her new employer. Conversation was friendly. I asked her if she wanted together after work. She said yes. She told me one night of the week is bad. She asked me what night was good. I responded. She told me she would get back to me. She has not responded.But I sense mixed signals coming from her.She does have a boyfriend. Was this just a friendship thing? And I am taking it the wrong way?I need feedback.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2005): I think you are correct. My only question is why do you think she suggested that we get together after she started her new job?
was it more of freindship thing? And she sensed that I might take it the wrong way.
A
reader, communicatrix +, writes (25 October 2005):
 It's hard to tell with 100% certainty what's happening, of course, but from what you say in your query, it does sound like any feelings your former co-worker has for you are strictly platonic and/or professional.
My guess is that since you were enamored of this person, you perhaps projected those feelings of warmth onto her, which is why the relationship seemed to intensify.
An objective look at the facts—you've approached her, she hasn't reciprocated, she has a boyfriend, she hasn't expressed any interest in you beyond a friendly work relationship—says that she's being polite and friendly.My guess is that in just not following through, she's trying to gently send a message that she's not interested.
Hope this helps.
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