A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey!So, me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now. Since I was 15 and he was 16. I love him with all my heart and yes we do have problems but who doesn't? He has stuck with me through the worst times in my life. I just don't know what is next? Do we just enjoy how we are (he's at uni for 4 years and I am working) or do I push for more? More being moving in together in the next few years? Kids? Ah, so confused. I don't mean straight away (obviously when he finishes uni) but do we start talking about it?Many thanks,:) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 December 2013):
 I would just go with the flow till Uni is over....
no decisions on the distant future need be made at this time.
You may find in 3 or 4 years time that one or both of you have changed enough that it's time to move on.... usually that's what happens with high school sweethearts...
forcing the issue is not going to help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2013): If you were a couple of years "older" than 18-21, I might suggest you push for living together. You were kids when you met. So time you were together before you were 21 doesn't really count. You need more time as independent adults; so you won't form a co-dependent relationship. You paying the bills, and him being limited in his financial contribution. You'll get resentful over time. He feel like a moocher. He might only be able to handle part-time employment with his studies.First, which is more practical and fiscally less stressful? Him living on campus; or taking on the cost of an apartment?A tacky small flat with no hot-water sounds romantic, but it isn't. If you live alone, it's fine, you don't get cramped. Do you have your own place now, or are you living with your parents? Did you attend uni? If not, why?Before you start making domestic decisions, shouldn't you figure out how to improve your earning potential? Then you can make wiser decisions that won't be stressful on your relationship, or your pocketbook. Believe me, money issues destroy more established relationships than yours.
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