A
female
age
36-40,
*andace049
writes:hi everyone. i have been with my partner now for over 3 years. last year while he was away i slept with someone else. i told him and we worked through it. he works in the military and is due to go away for 6 months. i meet him when i was 17-18 and now we live together. my question is to do with our sex life, i really want more out of it. i try my hardest to make it more exciting and fun but really i haven't enjoyed it as much as i used to. i try to talk to him about spicing things up but he doesn't quite get it. i love him with my whole heart and can really see us having a future together i just don't know how to fix this. should i just tell him or should I keep trying to fix this myself. im scared that if i tell him things will break apart and we wont be together. I also think that this is the reason I slept with someone else. please give me any advice you have as it would help me so much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): You said that he doesnt quite get it when you talked about this right? How blunt were you being? I mean, this isnt something you can beat around the bush about. You have to speak up for what you want. I am not saying be mean or anything. Try saying "you know i would really like it if you would _____." Or something along those lines. Or try a sex shop and bring home some new things to enhance your sex life. If he doesnt have much experience, you may have to take the lead here. Really there are alot of things you can do. Buy some sexy undies or nighties and answer the door in them. Suggest a 2 person bubble bath. If you like a little more kink then research that too. I think that if he loves you he will be willing to do what you want sexually to make you happy. Maybe he just isnt sure how.
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