A
female
age
41-50,
*ea123
writes:HelloI'm 26 and have been with my husband since I was 16. We split up a few months ago and he was the only person I have ever slept with.Last week I met a great guy and I ended up spending Friday and Sunday night round his (I knew of him from school so he wasnt a total stranger!). I know it was kind of soon but we'd both had a few drinks, but also we just seemed to click and really fancy each other. On the Friday night we just kissed and stuff and it felt so right. On Sunday night we went further......and it just wasnt happening. It was good to start off with, but the only way I can describe it, is that is just kind of petered out! Its like I wasnt enough for him to make him come. In the end we just stopped. I am so embarrassed about it and not sure why this is. We also tried again in the morning but after doing it for a bit I just completely dried up and we stopped!The things I have come up with-is it cos I am used to my ex and the way he was in bed? My ex was also really well endowed and the new bloke was a lot smaller. Or maybe mentally I'm not ready for this?Or maybe we just don't gel in a sexual way!Please help cos we've been texting each other about whether or not to see each other again cos its really worried both of us!!ThanksLeax
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): Hold up, it can only be a couple of hours. Your supposed to wait by the phone and worry, that's how it goes, remember. Give him at least a week before you give up....LOL...Take care of you.
A
female
reader, lea123 +, writes (20 June 2008):
lea123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies
We have been texting each other, and the last one he sent me yesterday he said he would love to ask me out again but is worried it will happen like that again as nothing has changed since the weekend, and that maybe we should wait a while. I think he is probably thinking that I need some time to myself after splitting with husband (either that or is giving me the brush off-can't decide!) He asked me for my thoughts on it, I joked that maybe I have a few issues right now or maybe I don't do it for him, but I did like him and it would be good to see him again but don't want to rush into anything. I have not had a reply to that text!
So now am even more worried!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): Same thing happened to my wife and I on our second date. I knew her from work and she was the first woman who I dated after my divorce from my only sexual partner. We just kissed after the first date. The second date things were going great on the couch and we were both really turned on. I asked her if she wanted to go to bed and she said yes. Well, it went downhill from there. I fumbled with the condom. I hadn't ever used one before. We fumbled around a bit. I tried oral on her, but she was embarrassed to let me do it so we had sex. Well, I never had an orgasm, so we just gave up. That was the first time that ever happened to me and the last. The next date was great. The meal was great, the talk was intimate and great and the sex was great.
The other thing that would have caused his problem is that the 2 of you had more than a few drinks. When my wife has a few drinks, she is horny and has great orgasms. When I have a few drinks, I am next to useless. Most men are like that. A couple of drinks is good. A few or more is bad for sexual performance. Don’t give up yet.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): Well you know what they say. If at first you don't succeed then try, try, try again.
It's perfect normal for you to be nervous and for things to go wrong. You've been with your partner so long you've missed out on the bad dates most women have had. Don't sweat it. You can continue talking to this guy, you can even date again. Your young, your single and you can attract men. Learn to fail, learn to face rejection and learn to dust yourself, put it down to experience and try again. Don't worry there's nothing wrong, your just both nervous.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): I suggest you should see each other again, be friends, take it slow; you seem to enjoy each others company, there must be some attraction, otherwise what were you doing in bed?
There can be many reason for what happened, but mainly, I think it was to soon; Neither of you were totally comfortable with each other yet; give yourselves more time to explore and relax with each other;
Yes, it will be strange for you if you were only use to your husband,try not to compare or think about it; but even more so, don't rush; all good things in due time.
When you are really truly ready, you will enjoy it.
Best of luck!
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