A
female
age
36-40,
*ixieGwen
writes:[OP original title]Ive posted this pretty much before but there was more to it and needed an opinion.I went on a date w/ this guy.We had ALOT of sexual tension - just super attracted to each other and enjoyed each others company and it seems hard to hang w/ him w/ out wanting to get sexual.That night we madeout for over an hr and he pants were wet with pre cum..he said he hadnt felt like that in a long time(only felt like that in his teens) So we talked daily for almost a wk and sex came up and we decided to have sex(He claimed he was lookin for more than just sex..but i doubted that).I dont normally just sleep w/ guys but figured I could use a fun wild night.We got together/hung out + alot of making out and we started to have sex and it was over 2 min later.He kept taking breaks during sex because he felt he was goin to cum, so I said go ahead and we came together.Even though it was brief it was really nice.He didnt believe i actually came and kept asking if it was true.Before we had sex, we tried to calm our nerves - I drank and he smoked a shitload of pot.After sex he was incredibly ashamed/embarrassed and tired.He apologized alot and said it's never happened and next time will be diff and then went through a rant as to why he prob ended up tired + too much pot(telling me his whole day).He didnt make much eye contact w/ me and tried to make regular convo(IE..whatre your fave tv shows?? etc.).I decided to leave cause he seemed tired and I knew he was goin to have his son early in the morn for a cpl days.He walked me down to my car (still apologizing and complainin he shouldnt have smoked as much).Get to my car and he hugs me a few times and kisses me and specifically asked me to call him the next day and made sure I knew when to call(last time he said call tomorrow but he meant later after we slept).I msged like he asked and no reply.. I did it while half asleep..so I sent another sayin im not sure if i sent it but hey how r u etc..I havent heard back..this was yesterday - I know when he has his kid hes incredibly busy but last time he w his kid..he atleast got back to me..even though it was here n there.Is he avoiding me? is he incredibly ashamed..to the point he'll stop talkin to me? I really didnt get the feeling that it was a one night stand.. i thought we'd atleast meet sometimes for sex if anything.
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (16 August 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question now that ive msged a few times.. im not goin to msg anymore.. cause 3 is enough (extra one because i didnt think my first one went thru)
we talked before sex and i told him i was never interested in just a sex thing.. but i decided to cause itll be fun/hot & -. i figured that was all he was down for..and i said that to him and he said " thats not all im lookin for.." but i knew that he was hoping we'd have sex because he mentioned if we were to just hang out..play pool/chill..that he'd be horny the whole time (considering we mauled each other the last time..making out & my neck was covered in hickeys :( ). hah, i cant help it if we're attracted to each other but anyhoo.. i really hope he didnt get scared..whatever the reason is..because im open to anything w/ him.. i think he knows that.. all i can do is just see what happens i guess.hopefully hes just busy.. but if he didnt want to talk to me anymore..he wouldnt have told me to call him/time to call him right?? i dont think anyone has ever told me to do that and blown me off completely..so i thought itd be odd if he chose to do that.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (16 August 2010):
 He may be embarassed yes, or just busy.
If it's the former you're going to have to help him get past it. And don't avoid the subject. Try telling him two minutes is just right for you or something.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (16 August 2010):
Yes, be patient. You've probably made your point that the event was acceptable to you. Give him a chance to respond.
If anything is actually scaring him away, it may be he has sensed an incompatibility between your intentions. Either he is interested in a no-strings, casual sex relationship at this time, but he senses that you want something serious; or he's looking for a serious relationship but thinks you're mainly after a "fun wild night".
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A
female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (16 August 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhaha well then im a dork. i msged him anyway and said that i know hes busy but that im still down for some future sex/hanging..whatever..and hope he is too and to lemme know either way (seein that he had asked me to msg but no reply?). I guess I just wanted him to know that im definitely interested and didnt want him thinkin that i was turned off by the short sex..cause it was definitely nice (i of course didnt mention the last part..) so ill leave him be for right now. Hopefully he doesnt think...geez she sure msged me alot.
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A
male
reader, LittleAlfie +, writes (16 August 2010):
 He may just simply be busy. Patience is your best friend right now. Try not texting him. I'm sure he'll get back to you eventually. Until then, talk to some friends or go out. Keep yourself busy. When he contacts you again, play the situation down. As common as shortcummings are, men tend to really feel emasculated when it happens. If it was good, and you're willing to pursue him, make sure to try it again. A good sexual relationship takes more than one attempt.
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