A
female
age
16-17,
*rittbritt09
writes:how do you know if your cherrie has been completely poped or all the extra skin has broke??? please give me sum answers becouse im 16 iv had sex about 25 or more times w/ the same guy and it hurts every time and i hate it! Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Since you're probably having sex with a guy that's about your age, he's young and sexually inexperienced, and probably has NO IDEA how to actually prepare you properly for sex. And yourself, being young and sexually inexperienced, probably are either unwilling or unable to tell him out of ignorance or embarassment.
Here's the deal...men are ready to have intercourse as soon as they achieve an erection, it takes literally, seconds. A woman needs to be fully aroused and lubricated in order to be prepared to have sex, and that can take up to an hour.
You two need to seriously sit down and have an honest to God heart to heart talk about what YOU NEED in order to feel more comfortable during intercourse. Think of it this way...he wasn't born a woman, and actually has no idea that you have a clitoris and that your clitoris is the main center of pleasure on your body. His sexual experience is possibly limited to porn, which focuses on penis-in-vagina intercourse and not ORAL SEX or clitoral stimulation of any kind, so he hasn't a clue how or where to touch you in order to arouse you.
He's not going to learn unless YOU TEACH HIM. If you can't talk to him about sex, then you shouldn't be having sex with him.
This is just as much responsibility as it is his. He can't figure it out on his own, magically, by reading your mind. Show him what you need, and don't let him have sex with you until you're fully aroused and ready.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): I knew a woman who was married for 13 years and had sex several times a week, and she mentioned to her doctor during her yearly gyne exam that sex hurt. He told her the hymen had never been broken or stretched enough. A simple office procedure took care of it. She still didn't like sex much, though. I don't know why. I think it was psychological by that time, not physical. In other words, she let the pain go on so many years that she feared sex even when the pain was gone.
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A
female
reader, cgrlygo + ♥, writes (7 October 2009):
 to add to MuffinGirl very good advise.. you may not be lubed enough... so get to the store and buy astroglyde.. or ky jelly... both are water solvable. this i believe along with the relaxation techniques will help alot.
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A
female
reader, lovemybabe17 +, writes (7 October 2009):
well, that really isn't normal after the second or third time. i'm not a doctor, but try not having sex for a week and if it still hurts after that than i would consider going to the doctor. good luck
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A
female
reader, ffogalilly + ♥, writes (6 October 2009):
I really doubt it has anything to do with your hymen, it probably went long ago.
I also have that problem, I am quite a bit older than you, I have visited my doctor about it. My problem is I tend to bleed, even from fingers, but I also have uterine fibroids.
I am not a doctor, but I think you should go see a doctor and have yourself checked out, any woman who is sexually active should be checked out at least once a year. It could be vaginal dryness, maybe try some lubrication. I understand how you're feeling, its not pleasurable when it hurts.
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A
female
reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (6 October 2009):
 It was the same with me a couple of years ago. Your skin definetely has broken if you have had sex for 25 times.
I have one a bit unconvencial advice for you: buy yourself a vibrator. It should be the right size for you, just a bit thicker than your guy's cock. And buy vaseline too. Use it while you mastrubate- it might hurt you at first, but eventually you'll start enojoying it. And your vagina will get a bit wider.
The other advantage of vibrator is that you loose fear of cock. You're probably unconsciouslly afraid of chance that penetration would give you pain. Once you lose that fear and TRUELY realise that sex is about pleasure and that there is no chance of feeling pain during it, you would start enjoying it. If this doesn't help.. well.. there is one more question. Are you sure you're relaxed and wet enough? If you're not, use vaseline or make your foreplay longer and think about dirty things. ;)
I hope this will make you some sense.
Good luck!
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