A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. My husband doesn't love me anymore, or just can't say it. We have been married for 7 years, but have been separated for about 9 months. We spend time together, as we have 2 children. We are still sleeping together, and we don't live together. My question is, well if it is a question, is how to do I stop! I want him to love me again, we had a bad breakup (I had a breakdown and family got involved etc, not real pretty) he says that it will never be the same, and I agree, I don't want it the same I want it better! He doesnt want to go to counselling, as he says it doesnt work. He never initiates sex, never tells me he loves me, said that he would be happy to go on his own, says the kids would get over not having one of us around (as in if one of us passes away), his family, friends and new job all come before me... why am I so stupid?! I love him with all my heart, want it to work for us, am trying to be the person he says he wants, etc etc... I need all teh advice i can get, my heart is so broken, i am scared of what the outcome is (insecure) and he doesnt believe in marriage and commitment anymore. if there are also some ideas to help with our marriage healing that would be great too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): to be honest with you...this isnt a marriage anymore. your husbad has changed and you deserve way better. you deserve a man to love you and cherish you. not make you feel stupid and neglected. and if he is not even willing to do everthing he can to save your marriage. then why stay with someone like that? if he puts you behind everything else and is okay with leaving you and your kids behind then he is NOT a good man or father. you should end this marriage. you SHOULD NOT change who you are for a man who does not see how great you are by just being youself. love yourself enough to get out of this distructive marriage.if you two have been seperated now for 9 months and NOTHING has changed then its going to just keep going down hill. you deserve better and so do your kids. good luck!
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