A
female
age
22-25,
*ayameow
writes:I know this makes me sound uptight, but this is bothering me to no end. My boyfriend was letting me sit in his lap and help him look through some stuff on his computer. We went to the picture library and there was a picture of a girl he knew there. She was semi nude, and I hadn't seen that picture there before. I asked him who it was and why he had it, and he told me it was one of his old friends and it was for blackmailing purposes. His reply bothered me because he said she "just sent it". I highly doubted it, and I'm sure he could tell. He deleted the picture as soon as I tried to click on the file to check the date downloaded, which made me really doubt his story. Should I confront him ? Should I leave it alone? Am I overreacting? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 August 2014):
 What kind of person would do that? (keep pictures for blackmail purposes) That just reeks of a shady character.
And yes, YOU need to start listening to your gut. YOU felt something was off, then TRUST in your feelings. And my guess.. of she "just" sent them or sent them because he asked.. HE can access them anytime he wants (saved in the E-mail) for instance. So him deleting them was to SHUT you up. Make you think he isn't keeping those photos.
And honestly, I don't really think it matters WHY he has them, he sounds rather questionable and immature.
A
female
reader, mayameow +, writes (11 August 2014):
mayameow is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe girl in the photo is 18 or 19. I've never sent any photos to him, nude or semi nude, so I don't think he could blackmail me. I have a feeling he was really using it to masturbate to unfortunately, due to him liking women of her size and such. I'm planning to talk to him when I see him next about it, and see if we can both move on or if our relationship needs to be ended. Thank you for your replies, they've made me think things over about his and I's future.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2014): Ditch this guy. He is probably lying, but even if he isn't, why would you want to date a guy who might end up blackmailing you? You should always consider how your boyfriends treat others and look at that as a prediction of how you will be treated.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2014): Blackmailing purposes? God, he needs to grow up. Whether he was using it to masturbate or to blackmail anyone, he's not worth your time and make sure he has no compromising pictures of you before you break up with him.
...............................
A
female
reader, kinjal  +, writes (9 August 2014):
I dnt think you are over reacting
you have all rights to know
you have a calm talk with him let him not feel you are doubting him make him feel comfortable.I personally believe you shouldn't leave this matter unsolved because if you do so the doubt wnt leave your mind thus its better to get things sorted out
good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2014): Even if his story IS true, do you really want to be with someone who would blackmail someone else?
...............................
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (9 August 2014):
 No you aren't over reacting, also how old was this girl in question? Having photo's of someone under the age of 18, or 21 in some countries, is classed as child pornography, not to mention saying he was keeping it for BLACKMAILING purposes is a disgusting thing to do. Also have you asked him why he wanted to blackmail her? Do you reckon it could be because she has a picture of him, and its one of them "you show the picture I sent you, and i'll show everyone your picture" scenarios? However I don't like the sound of this situation from start to finish. He obviously was trying to hide something if he got so nervous about it, and still him cheating on you is the least of your problems. The fact he was keeping it to maybe blackmail this girl shouts RUN from every corner, what if you ever sent him a picture, or told him one of your secrets, and you broke up and he tried to blackmail you with it, people like that are not trust worthy and it can damage lives. Can you remember Amanda Todd? She was a young girl around about your age, she killed herself due to people blackmailing her and sending naked pictures around, things like that can have devasting effects. I personally wouldn't even stay with him, i'd just leave if I know someone would be willing to blackmail someone with a revealing picture, it isn't right. You could talk to him about it, but he will just deny everything, he isn't just going to tell you the truth, and the only way you would find out what was going on is by talking to the girl in question, but as I said, things like that have devastating effects, and she may not be comfortable knowing he had a photo of her saved on his computer. Remember you are young, the world is full of opportunities and new people to date, it isn't going to be the end of the world if you do leave him, but the decision is yours x Good Luck x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2014): Uh no. Your boyfriend could have deleted it. But he didn't. Its still there because he wants to be. Do yourself a favour and get a new bf who respects and adores you.
...............................
|
