A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing this guy for just over a year. I am having a hard time distinguishing if he really like me or not.Let's start from the beginning. I met him at work, the boss's son. We would hang out after work, have sex, go out to dinner (usually would pay tip or help a little), and go shopping occasionally. Sometimes I would go see him. A few months later he made it clear to me that he didn't want a relationship and we began talking/seeing each other less and less. Then he starts texting me again and seems interested in me, but then again he tells me he doesn't want a relationship.I bought him tickets to go to a baseball game, great seats, he didn't know I had bought them because it was a surprise, but unfortunately a week or so before we got into an argument through texting (I don't recall what it was about) and we didn't go. Later, he realizes and says sorry.I still see Jay, because the sex is good....I keep telling myself that he likes me, maybe he doesn't want a relationship because he wants his freedom. Honestly, I don't know why and I try not asking because it ends up with us fighting.The past few months have been going okay. I wish he would take me out more, but I like staying in with him, we cuddle, watch movies, ant etc. It's not everyday because he lives an hr away and we're both busy with school full time. Lately, I have been intentionally not starting anything with him and making him initiate conversations or meetings. I met Brad's old friends (back in the city) once during St. Patrick's last year and then I finally met one of his new friends from school just a week ago, I was surprised. The funny part to meeting him was we talked about relationships. Brad's friend had just left a very serious relationship and had interest in a new girl (they slept together occasionally). So he asks me, "How to I tell her I don't want anything serious, I like her, but after the last one wasn't ready for another." I laughed at the fact that I and Brad had a few similar conversations. On the car ride home Brad and I talked about his friend's dilemma and I say I have terrible relationships with with guys, and Brad says, "What about our relationships?" and gives me a kiss. I never responded just smiled and laughed a little to myself, because I feel like our relationship could be stronger, but he wants his space.Last night, we were talking about getting together and then he ended up going out with his friends (which was okay with me, I took a bath instead and relaxed). He apologized several times, because in his words he was being a "shit" about getting together for the evening. I told him I understood that I wasn't upset or anything. He ended up home early and I went over there....He makes me feel so good, but then when all those happy hormones are gone I question if anything good is going to come from this relationship or if I'm just drawing myself into something that's never going to work out.
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female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (11 March 2011):
 If you feel this way then maybe it is time for you to tell Brad that you realy like him but since you both know it is never going to go anywhere (his words) that it is time for you to move on.
That maybe not tomorrow or the next day but someday soon you hope to fall in love with someone who loves you back with all their heart, get married and maybe even start a family.
And that you are afraid the perfect guy for you might pass you by because of all the time you spend with him. Not because you don't care for him or love the time you spent together because you did, but your afraid you'll never find what you are looking for unless you put yourself out there.
This speach is not a threat or an ultimatium, and you need to be clear about that, but it does give Brad one last chance to change his mind about not wanting a relationship with you. He is either willing to lose you forever or not. And you shouldn't have to wait 2-4 more years to find that out.
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