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Secret Lover

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Article - (21 January 2008) 4 Comments - (Newest, 16 February 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Here is the thing I am engaged and have been with him for five years, and I love him. But last night my ex who I have remained friends with asked me if I wanted him to be my secret lover. He says "we both know we can't get got, so we have to keep it a secret, you know just sex". I couldn't believe he was saying this to me, it almost made me sick. My question is. If it almost made me sick to think he said it to me, then why did I almost say yes, I want to be your secret lover.

View related questions: engaged, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone. And no I have not done anything with this guy since being with my finacee. And after alot of thought I decided that he was never going to want to be just friends so I told him I could no longer speak to him. I wont' risk losing my fincee for him. Nobody is worth that.

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A female reader, hilgay United Kingdom +, writes (13 February 2008):

hey i know just how you feel. Had the chance to have an evening with a married man recently, an old university friend of my ex-husband!! I knew when he called me what it was he wanted but I had dinner with him anyway. He now calls me regularly to meet again to have sex but how can I do this when m ex-husband had anaffair for five years leading to the end f our 23 year marriage. How could I even think of doing the same thing to another married woman. But the thought of a completely commitment free sexual relationship is stangely appealing, so I understand how you are feeling.

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A female reader, CLB South Africa +, writes (23 January 2008):

Have you and your ex had anything during your relationship with him? If so, you're not only being selfish towards your fiance, but you are probably lying to yourself too. Take some time out to really dig down deep and ask yourself who you really want to be with. And having a secret lover is not a cool thing to do! Try figure out what you want first before you make any moves. You can't have your cake and eat it, it doesn't work that way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008):

maybe you have more feelings for your ex then your new boyfriend

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