A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had a child when i was 16 and the father denied the pregnancy. This whole thing affected me so badly that I find it difficult to stay in a relationship. When the person I'm with tries to get close I push them away and tell them that I'm wasting their time cause I don't feel as they do about me meaning I don't love them. Now there is this guy...we like each other so much but the problem is I find it difficult to open up to him, to tell him how I feel because I have never told a guy how a feel about them. What do I do? Please help me; I want this to work. I don't want to lose him because of not knowing what to say every time I'm with him. The only line that is in my head every time a guy tries to get close to me is, "sorry i don't feel anything." Please help. I am frustrated. By the way I'm 27 yrs now. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MissVee  +, writes (19 February 2011):
The past is gone. It is dust, a memory that only exists now in the minds of those who are able to recall it. Knowing this, why are you letting it grab at you with those proverbial nasty black claws? It's ripping your heart and soul to shreds, chicky!
The solution is to hold a funeral for all those horrid memories that are scaring you away from something that might be just what you want and need. Write down everything that sucked about the past, how it made you feel, the things you thought... then BURN the whole thing and make an agreement with yourself that the past is no longer going to influence you. It will not hold you back for one day more!
As for speaking with this man about how you feel, yes, it is scary, and there's always the risk that there will be spinach in your teeth from lunch, or that you will forget what you want to say... Thankfully, humans are natural communicators (whether or not some people act that way!). Be open, be honest and don't be afraid to feel. If you're stuck for words, say so. If you feel like giggling like a schoolgirl, say so. If you stand any chance of having a healthy relationship with this great new guy, you need to bash down those emotional barriers you've put up!
It's time to live your life. Good luck =)
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