A
female
age
36-40,
*a petite belle
writes:2 days ago, I saw my very first ex boyfriend at the gym. IT had been about 14 months since we had seen each other.When he broke up wiht me he said he wanted to be friends and I flat out told him that I couldn't turn off my feelings for him so said," yes, we can be friends WHEN I am ready".So, I deleted everything and everyone that reminded him of me, changed my number and took an internship/work all the way across the US.In July when I was still dating my now 2nd ex, I felt really strong and I befriended him on fb, and wrote to him a letter saying how happy I was to see that he was with his girlfriend (the girl he left me for) and I told him that I missed "the friend that went missing after he found his better half", they seem to have an AMAZING relationshipHe responded with a heart-breaking "you have no idea how much "you are missing from me" (literal spanish translation) "I miss your body, the way you looked at me, the great times we had". So then I decided to tell him to never talk to me again like that because friends don't talk to each other like that (but deep inside it broke me up) and I switched the topic to school related subject to which he replied he was in grad school (most ppl think he lied because the timining doesn't make sense, either way I occasionally wonder why he could've lied) but anyways, So i saw him 2 days ago at the gym, he was going to ignore me, he pretended to be looking down, I almost did the same but decided to go ahead and walk up to him and say hi. He was very polite but very very cold and I don't know if he lied but he asked me the very same question that I had responded to his e-mail so most likely it's him giving no importance to what I say, either way, we hugged to say bye and at first I was in shock... I think taht somehow i still am but when we hugged (even though he looks good, better than when we were dating) I didn't feel anything... I have been through episodes when I feel good about it for days but then I start missing him, well last night I started crying but I asked myself why was the reason of this and something inside tells me it is not him... I am going through some frustrating times but it is mostly with the family...I think that all I needed was to see him again to realize that yes, he looks good... but I don't miss any of that... Funny thing is that although I kept looking at him in the eyes (with the occasional look away), he did the same... I guess it hurts that after he said he wanted me to be friends he was acting all cold towards me when he was the one doing the break up and now that I feel stronger... he's acting all cold... I suppose he wants to respect his girlfriend (something that I applaud and makes me proud and happy for him because she is a very deserving girl...)Pray for me so that this is not a relapse... thoughts?
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male
reader, anonymous12345150  +, writes (21 October 2012):
i saw my ex at the gym a few weeks ago,we haven't spoke for about 6/7 months.i have been doing completely fine,but the shock of seeing her made me have a bit of a bad week,all the nostalgia came back etc just try not to read to deep into it,it probaly just caught you of guard,especially if youve recently had family problems and a break up
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 October 2012):
 I doubt that this is a relapse as such, as you say you are having a hard time with your family at the moment and seeing him can bring back some old feeling. After all he was your first boyfriend and deep down you will probably remember him for that reason. It is very hard to be friends with someone who was a partner. It can be very difficult. However reading your post you sound very mature about it and it does sound like you are over him, but I am guessing it may have just upset you as this meeting was very different to the past you shared with him.
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