A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm caring, friendly, loyal and intelligent. I'm also told I have a good sense of humour and charisma.Unfortunately the major thing I lack is confidence. The last girl I was interested in, I spent a lot of time chatting and getting to know her better, showing an interest in the things she liked, but doing my best to make sure she knew I wasn't after only friendship. That didn't work out, as always, and I lost out again recently I turned a girl down who I liked - she said she was interested, but I said no twice, because she had a boyfriend, and seemed to like him a lot at the time, only for them to split 5 weeks later, and for her to end up having week-long stints with pretty much every guy in a 2 mile radius (looking back I'm glad I said no!)Do girls actually like 'nice' guys, or do they find them dull and pointless?I'd rather have somebody that finds my sense of humour and my interests interesting, and likes me for me, rather than me pretending to be somebody I'm not. Does that mean I'm doomed to live this life alone? I'm successful in everything except love - blast! :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): You've got a pretty good idea of the kind of person you are looking for and what you will and will not accept. You say you haven't confidence but hanging on for what you want shows confidence, as does your list of your good points. At least you didn't waste time with the one you said no to. It's not that nobody wants you, just that you are choosy, and most of us have to face some rejections before we find someone. Just concentrate on being friends with girls and getting to know them better then you will find someone right for you.
A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 If you are finding that the girls are running away from you because you are a nice guy, perhaps you are looking for the wrong type of girl.. That's one theory.
Another theory is that while young, the girls go for the bad boys to have fun with, but later on they go with the nice guys to settle down with, which means you have to wait...
As far as that one girl you said no too... Yes I would say that you made a good choice, considering she already had a boyfriend... It's never good to be second fiddle, because even if you become first fiddle, you still need to worry about the third, now second fiddle replacing you. If that makes any sense.
On a side note, A friendly reminder to all ladies out there.. Nice guys like to have fun too... ;)
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