A
female
age
18-21,
*ovebug01zn
writes:My boyfriend seems to think that i don't respect him because i always have an opinion to everything he says.in our culture "men" get much more respect but i dont agree.could it be that im trying too hard to pass the message on to him?i feel so angry Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ThatOtherGuy  +, writes (26 October 2009):
You're allowed to have an opinion, but contradicting everything he says, even on meaningless things, may be sending him a message that you feel like arguing. I seriously doubt that this is a matter of him wanting you to submit to his opinion because you're a woman, he may just be tired of you undermining him a lot.
I made a lot of assumptions about what you posted since you didn't go into detail, correct me if I'm wrong
A
female
reader, marieclaire  +, writes (25 October 2009):
 you're entitled to have an opinion on whatever you want! having an opinion is not a bad thing!!!! why should your boyfriend have one but not you? he's being ridiculous
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A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (25 October 2009):
 If you disrespect him and are snippy and mean for the sake of a cultural trend, then you are taking that trend too personally and mistreating your boyfriend for no good reason.
It sounds irresponsible, to be honest. You're being careless towards his feelings in a very cold way. He's your boyfriend, and you're supposed to love each other. Loving people respect each other, even when they're angry.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (25 October 2009):
If you have an opinon about EVERYTHING he says, then you're over opinonated... too much! No one can tollerate being around someone who wants to debate everything they say. It's OK for you to have an opionon, and to properly share it occassionally.
If you're sick of living in a society that discounts women, go overseas for college, gaduate and STAY... you don't have to keep living in the 15th century...
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A
female
reader, katyayni  + ♥, writes (25 October 2009):
 HiI know where you are coming from. In a male dominated society, where men are naturally assumed to be right, and a woman has to work twice as hard to get half as much respect, right? Actually, this is the case throughout the world but you will find people staunchly denying it. Well, it is the truth. As for you disagreeing with your boyfriend's opinion, well, what is wrong with that? You don't want to say a meek "yes" to every word he says. That is just ridiculous! Now, tell me, do you genuinely respect your boyfriend and the kind of a man he is? If you do, then tell him that you have a right to an opinion and sometimes they don't agree with his.. but that doesn't mean that you don't respect him. However, if you disagree just because he is a "man" and you want to disagree with a man, then I think that you have some anger bottled inside. The best way to get that anger out will be through doing something productive and just proving to all that you are just as good as any man. But, then if you really think that your man isn't man enough for you and that he has little respect for your opinion or you, then perhaps it is time to tell him so. There is nothing wrong with being outspoken or intelligent... but anger is not the right emotion with it. Also, are you fighting too hard for some respect? Remember, respect is commanded, never demanded and to get respect you must also give respect. Love :)
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (25 October 2009):
 You resent the men or him getting more respect than you?
Then i feel your venting it maybe the wrong way!
Don't be too personal sometimes we do object to old ways but at the end of the day we all have choices and if he is not the one for you then you have the choice to walk away.
Gina
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